Sep 21, 2002

For those of you not familiar with Marc, let me enlighten you with his deft skills at handling salespeople or cashiers. Example:

Scenario: Candle Shop in Vermont
Marc: “Yeah, ummm, do you sell, uh, those wax things that have wicks…ummm, damn, what are they called?”
Salesperson: “Candles?”
Marc: “Yeah, candles! Do you know where I can get some?”

This is always funny and easily adaptable to any store. Just find the most ridiculous tchotchke they sell within the salesperson’s sight lines and ask if they have any in stock.

This morning at Dunkin’ Donuts Marc exchanged these words with the barely English speaking girl behind the counter:

Marc: Two small coffees, cream and two sugars in each.
Girl: Medium coffee, milk and two sugar?
Marc: No, two small coffees, cream and two sugars in both.
Girl: Two small coffees? You want milk and sugar?
Marc: Yes, two small coffees, but cream not milk and two sugars.
Girl: Okay, two medium coffee, two sugar, no milk.
Marc: No, two small coffees, cream, seventeen sugars, a goat, a cat and a live chicken.
Girl: Blank stare.

I walked out of there. I have never had a normal Dunkin Donuts experience when I’m with Marc. We did get our coffee and finished our walk to the vet laughing the whole way about how even though he is there nearly every day and orders the same exact thing, they still try to push the Medium coffee on him. They must get some incentive pay based on Medium cup sales.