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Dec 17, 2002

Plez Morgan was one of the best teachers I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Taking his advanced algebra course in 7th grade, he taught me much more than theorems. One afternoon when my pre-pubescent-Weiner’s- jeans-wearing-twelve-year-old-self sat contemplating Pascal and Fermat, Mr. Morgan managed to scrawl the hidden meaning of “assume” on the chalkboard and then read it aloud.

“Assume: To assume makes an ‘ASS’ out of ‘U’ and ‘ME.’

What I was probably thinking:
(1) Holy shit he said “ass” in class.
(2) Oh, he’s serious. I’d better pay attention and pretend to be mature enough to handle this. This ain’t no remedial math; I be advanced.
(3) Hmmm…that makes sense. I wonder if Webster was thinking that when he made it up.
(4) My jeans suck.
(5) I wish Mork and Mindy never ended. I knew it was over when Jonathan Winters was their baby. Rule of sitcom: Anytime characters start popping out kids, the end is near. Just because the “kid” is some geriatric comedian doesn’t mean this rule doesn’t apply.

Years later, I know Mr. Morgan taught me a piece of logic more often used than any equation. I aslo know no matter how much an attorney bills per hour, sometimes logic fails them.

Celebrate Good Times, Come On!
In case I haven’t made it clear to anyone, you’re all invited to Serena tomorrow night for Tex in the City’s Holiday Celebration. The party starts at 6:00, ends at 9:00 and is *free* to get in. We’ll have lots of non-traditional music spun by DJ Sam Shaffer, our own carolers, special gifts and lots of food and drink specials. I hope to see you there!

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