>Dream Client

>I finally met Patton Oswalt last night. So funny and nice and funny and one of my favorite performers. He’s fresh from taping his very own ONE HOUR special for Comedy Central and producing his own tour/documentary.

Oh, if only I were shameless in my pursuit of him as a client. I’m not quite to the stage yet where I’ll approach random performers and solicit their business. Not because I don’t feel qualified, but more because I’m not sure how it will appear. Is it flattering to be wooed by a producer/publicist?

So, Atlantic City was fun. Shi Ann Huang (Survivor) and Felisha Collins (The Late Show with David Letterman band) were judges for the Great American Karaoke Challenge put together by Dave Pena, the owner of Planet Rose. I’m no karaoke singer, but Planet Rose looks fun. I just might have to break out my theme song, “She’s Got Balls”.

The Limo arrived at my apartment 30 minutes early Friday evening and waited for me to finish packing. We enjoyed a bottle of wine while watching The Cooler. Very appropriate viewing material. We checked in and got the most amazing room, but it was full of the cheesiest decorations. Christian kept saying, “Oh, but it’s claasssyy, cuz it’s GOLD!” We had $150 per diem to spend before midnight, so we had dinner in the silliest restaurant (pics below). My dinner was vanilla ice cream, chocolate cake, hot fudge and a bowl of fresh strawberries. MMM mmm good!

We gambled through the night and awoke to gamble some more before the show. Ophira was a hoot, the show was over, so we drank at the Top of the Trop lounge where some cheesey singer rubbed her silicone breasts on Christian’s head before Christian got into a fight with some cheesier comic making the comic storm out in a huff but not before that cheesier comic could tell everyone how much he gets paid per week ($18,000), how much gain he made selling his old Chelsea apartment ($350,000), how much his home in Vegas is worth ($2,000,000) and that he’s “got lots of homes”. What a douche!

—Kambri

Owner of nothing.