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Bed, Bath & Beyond
Now that we have a car (!!!!) we can do things like shop for large items without concern if we can physically carry them home. We took the Thunder Nugget out for a spin and filled him with things from Bed Bath & Beyond, a magical place where I believe I am a master chef and homemaker.The first set of sliding doors opened and I grabbed a bag of 100 tea light candles from a display and tossed them into the shopping cart. I WASN’T EVEN IN THE STORE. The second set of sliding doors opened and I was bedazzled. WHERE DO I BEGIN!?!? Christian had the same wild-eyed look. It was like we had broken into Santa’s Workshop.“Okay, we need to calm down,” he panted. “Let’s look at our list.”
Right! Our list! We smartly and thankfully made one:— Trash Can (SimpleHuman and worth every penny! Who knew a garbage could be improved upon and so very awesome?!)— Shower Head (Installed in a jiffy by yours truly)— Toilet Seat (Also installed by yours truly. No photo. Did you really want one?)This cream pitcher turned vase and Ped Egg were things I did not need but suddenly felt I MUST HAVE THEM! They are mine now. So are these popsicle makers, a bajillion AA batteries, felt pads for the bottom of chairs, Brita filters, a soap dispenser and tons of other stuff that I simply could NOT leave behind in the store.Not everything is irresistible. It is unlikely I will shake my way to firm & fabulous arms despite what the box tells me.$375 later, the Thunder Nugget was filled with STUFF. We didn’t even need to put the back seats down, but we did because we CAN! After a quick and delicious lunch at Jackson Hole Diner f/k/a The Air Line Diner, we were home and unpacking our new “toys.” I was gleeful and inspired to make sugar free pudding pops with chunks of bananas and strawberries with my new popsicle makers. Domesticity is fun again.—Kambri
The Ped Egg? It’s LEGIT. No matter who you are, if I draw your name in Secret Santa this year, you will receive this. -
My 1st Half Marathon
I just ran 13.1 miles!
I feel pretty good, physically, and like a million bucks, mentally. My morning didn’t start well. We drove our new car — my first time ever riding in it! — and parking was already full. We knew we should have left sooner, but whatcha gonna do. So, we drove around looking for street parking which was harder than it should have been. All the street closings and pressure to find a spot made us go the WRONG way on a freeway exit ramp! GAH! Cars were flying towards us honking, trying not to have a head on collision. Luckily it was 6:30 AM on a Saturday and traffic was light. We managed to turn around, find a spot and high tail it to the starting line.Being late and shaken up, we didn’t get to stretch or buy bananas. That said, it went well. It was hot & humid to be sure, but there was a nice breeze in some spots. I stopped at every water station as recommended by a few articles I read for 1st time half-marathoners. My shoes were SOAKED by the end so my feet felt mushy & gross. It wasn’t painful, just a distraction.
The best part was seeing all the new sites of Flushing Meadow Park where much of the race was held. (Photo set here.) I ran past the Unisphere, an Aquatic Center, the Queens Zoo, Citi Field, Arthur Ashe Stadium and lots of lovely marsh land. Who knew it was all down the street from me?I came in 2435th place overall and 115th in my age/gender group. Finished in 2:20:22 at a 10:43 pace. Christian did well, too. Came in 999th place overall and finished in 1:56:56 at a 8:56 pace.
Here are the stats for you running nerds:
Distance: 13.1 Miles, 21.1 Kilometers
Date/Time: July 24, 2010, 7:00 AM
Location: Flushing Meadow, NYC
Weather: 86 degrees, 63% humidity, wind 12 mph
Course map -
Purple Thunder Nugget
We bought a car! It’s my first one in 10 years since giving up my darling and beloved Cabrio. For Christian, this is his very FIRST car EVER. Crazy, huh?
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Back in the Saddle
Memorial Day has come and gone. I was *supposed* to be in Los Angeles running a half marathon with my cousin’s wife and her brother. Instead I spent it moping around my NYC apartment wishing I were there. They ran it without me and did quite well. I’m so proud of her and her incredible transformation. Since October ’08 to date she’s gone from a 213 pound woman who couldn’t walk a mile to a woman who is fit and can run a half marathon!
I was so frustrated and disappointed to not be there to see her cross the finish line and, damn it, I wanted to cross it, too. Why wasn’t I there, you ask? Because I’ve let work take over my life. I feel at the fed up point she did back in ’08 when she said, “Enough. I’ve had enough.”
No, I don’t have weight to lose and, yes, I already run (I ran 10.75 miles today, in fact), but the small things in life are passing me by. I am, by nature, a workaholic. I’ve actually had days when I never saw the sun because my office is in the basement and I don’t come up for air. I haven’t seen my dad in 3 yrs, for crying out loud.
—Kambri
Enough. I’ve had enough. It’s time for a change. -
FREE OSCAR WATCH PARTY
It’s time for my annual free Oscar watch party at Comix and I came up with the 1st drink name called “Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire Gin & Tonic”. My pal Julie Reed suggested “The Blind Sidecar” reminding me why this is our favorite time of year.
There will be $5 drafts, $6 bottled beer, $7 well drinks and $18 draft beer pitchers along with those fun specialty cocktails and food specials like:
CalaMarlee Matlin
Lord of the Wings
Whoopi GoldBurgerAnd more!
You’ll have the newly revamped Copper Room and the Comix Theatre to enjoy with big flat screen TVs showing nothing but the Oscars. They’ll have ballots for sale with chances to win lots of great prize packages given out during commercial breaks. Even if you show up late, you won’t be out of the running to go home with a prize.
Brush up on your trivia, too, for even MORE chances to win.
Doors open at 6:30 and seating is first come, first serve for those who have RSVPd.
Doors will open to the general public once the Oscars begin at 8:00 PM.
Everyone is welcome, so invite anyone and everyone who loves the movies!
**Please RSVP to kcrews@comixny.com with your name and number of party in attendance **
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And on the 7th anniversary…
And on the 7th anniversary, Christian shall urinate while talking on the phone with me.
—Kambri
The upside: he was in the dressing room on the set of a new sitcom he’s on. -
I Just Wanted Coffee. Is That Too Much to Ask?
This morning I went to my normal Sunday deli, my regular deli being closed on the Seventh Day. Back home, I settled into my leather recliner, newspaper in one hand, homemade Deaf Hope coffee mug filled to the brim in the other. The coffee had more half & half than I would like, but whatever. Then I tasted it. Blech. The cream was sour. So I dumped the coffee and waited an hour and a half for the corner cafe to open up.
Cafe el Maya is a new little mom and pop operation and serve up delicious tacos and burritos. They’ve been advertising breakfast and I loved the idea of supporting them. I was the only customer so sat down at a big table and requested a cup of coffee with a little half and half. What I got was a bowl of half and half with a splash of coffee. I *wish* I were exaggerating. I was a little embarrassed to ask for it to be fixed — I try not to be a high maintenance customer, especially in a little shop like this, but I am a regular and, well, I was jonesing for java. It took three tries but finally I got a steaming cup of delicious coffee while I waited for my ham, cheese and onion omelette. What came out was a plate of thin, fried egg thing with no ham, no cheese, no onions and two slices of dry white toast. No butter or jam. After the frustrating coffee exchange, I just didn’t have it in me to send it back and *hope* they’d get it right. I was so hungry and in need of coffee that I felt exceptionally angry and helpless that I couldn’t just get a simple, no frills order.
I finished my coffee, left the plate of food untouched except for the one bite I took to see if maybe there was ham, cheese & onion hidden in the eggs that I just couldn’t see, paid the $5 bill and walked to Panera. At least there, I knew I could get coffee.
I just missed Panera’s breakfast so wasn’t able to get an egg souffle but no matter, there were tons of other tasty choices. There was plenty of coffee, served however I liked, reasonably priced and served quickly. Panera was packed full of happy looking people, laughing, chatting or using the free WiFi. As much as I hate the homogenization of America and my little area of Astoria, Queens, I was thanking God for this chain restaurant for getting everything right. And it seemed like every other person in Astoria had already figured it out. I suppose that’s why chains exist and take over the quaint towns of the nation, but it makes me sad. I will never give Cafe el Maya another chance except for the 2:00 AM $2 chicken taco. They do get those right. Or do they? It could be that I’m just too drunk to care.
I’m a sell out. A sated, full, caffeinated sell out.
—Kambri
Going to Subway for lunch and Applebees for dinner and Regal Cinemas for my entertainment. -
New TSA Rule
Due to the failed bombing attempt of a Delta plan flying into Detroit, the TSA won’t let you stand, retrieve personal items, use the restroom, or even read a book for the last hour of flights now. That means on a 5 hour flight terrorists will have only 4 measly hours to work with.
—Kambri
Gosh, how will they ever find the time? -
Work & Working Out
The past few weeks I’ve been lax about going the the gym, opting instead for burgers & beer & friends. But today I went and ran a 10K in 68.52 minutes. It felt GREAT! I know it should be a priority for me but when work calls, running is the first thing that gets shoved to the side.
And work has been running me ragged. One thing I’m excited about is further movement on the “Life’s Tough. Laugh More.” ad campaign I developed three years ago. It’s finally seeing more action than just the sole TV commercial that aired last year. (Click here to watch. I wrote, directed & appeared in it, but wish we had a 30 second spot instead of the 60 sec. spots Time Warner gave us). I was able to get an amazing deal on as at a PRIME location in the NYC subway system (the N/R/W stops at the corner of 49th & 7th Avenue) and in the mall at South Street Seaport. So I got photographer/designer guru Kirill to shoot some spots with Scott Ramsey (my BFF & Tex in the City partner) and Ophira Eisenberg. I have two more shoots up my sleeve but since we’ll have a FOUR month presence, I have some time to work those out. Facebook users can check out a few of the behind the scenes shots taken at the shoot here on our Fan Page. I can’t wait to see what hoodlum New Yorkers draw on their faces! HA!Then there’s the upcoming Food Network New York City Wine & Food Festival for which I am helping publicize. All the famous celeb chefs have sold out their shows, of course, so I’m working to help bring attention to Alicia Silverstone‘s demonstration. She is coming to Comix Oct 10th to showcase recipes from her first cookbook “The Kind Diet.” Tickets & info here: http://tinyurl.com/nt3kyuI’m still plugging away on my book (I’m in the midst of doing an annotated scene list so my editor can wrap his head around the whole thing), we had a road trip to Boston for a wedding, my mom is coming for a visit in October as is an old high school friend and Tex in the City is resuming its First Friday Roundups beginning September 4th. Phew! My head spins. Now you see why it’s so easy to beg off the gym. But man I do feel better, less stressed and happier when I’m at my fittest. I’m not 20 any more so it’s easy for fatigue and bad eating habits to show up on my face and butt.Sometimes I wish I could check myself into “rehab” so I’ll take care of myself. There’s got to be a better way! -
Shout Out on Olbermann!
Happy anniversary to me! Christian was on Olbermann and gave me a shout out at the very end. Awww! Awesome and sweet!
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
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DeafHope’s Tea Party, Marlee Matlin & Yours Truly
I am truly honored to have been invited as the Keynote Speaker when DeafHope presents their 8th Annual Tea Party “Defying Gravity” in Livermore, California. The tea party is a fundraiser to support direct services for abused Deaf women and their children at DeafHope. I will read or tell a story or something (guess I’d better get cracking on that) along with Mistress of Ceremonies and President of the National Association of the Deaf Bobbie Beth Scoggins and this year’s DeafHope Trailblazer Award Recipient, Marlee Matlin.
The September 26, 2009 event includes delicious food by the Food Divas catering and tea with a free mug made by Hildy Licht and a silent auction.
The tickets are $75.00 per person and address and directions will be sent to you after your payment. You may pay via Paypal (link and info on their site, here) or send check payable to DeafHope to following address:
DeafHope
470 27th Street
Oakland, CA 94612One last thing…on DeafHope’s site, they have a banner that rotates various photos of people and their completion of a sentence that begins “When violence against women stops…”
Mine will be: When violence against women stops, I will ride the subway alone after 11:00 PM.
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Butterfly Kisses in My Hair
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Seven Years Ago
Seven years ago, I was hanging out with a “B” as in “boy” -illionaire till the wee hours of the morning. At one point he grabbed my hand and deliciously whispered into my ear, “Kambri, when you live in my world, you can do anything you want.”
Indeed, in his world, you can.
At the same time, 1,542 miles away, Dad was stabbing Gloria.
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Birthday Wishes & Caviar Dreams
I spent the morning of my 38th birthday perched on my fire escape like I was in the balcony of a theater.
Not quite 5:00 AM, the sun was making its rise to my right. The Chrysler and Empire State Buildings were still shadows to my left. Their lights were out and the sun was not high enough to make them glisten.
Below me, drunken club goers shouted in Spanish, threw punches and bled on the sidewalk. Bouncers from the corner Latin dance club swarmed to the scene. With lightening speed, they shoved half of the warring factions into a compact car that squealed its tires through a red light.
This is New York City Masterpiece Theatre at its rawest.
I hadn’t slept in nearly 24 hours, but I was happy.
Pass the popcorn, please.
—Kambri
Tired and happy. -
Too Old? Too Sexy?
Click the photo to see the answer inside of this year’s handmade card sent to me by Dad for my birthday. What a treat to see it in my mailbox today. He never fails to crack me up. (In case you can’t see the details too well, the front has a square panel cut out, revealing what looks to be buttocks.)
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Discount Code for Toxic Avenger
Save over 55% on tickets to the hilarious musical “Toxic Avenger” with the discount code: TOBALLY5 More info here: http://tinyurl.com/nhlg5x
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The Internet Sucks Sometimes
I went to wish someone a happy birthday on Facebook and saw his status that said my grandma is on her death bed.
Oh.
Wow.
I didn’t know.
I didn’t leave a note. What was I going to say? “Yay, happy birthday, my grandma will soon be dead but, hey, you made it another year. Yippee!”
My brother didn’t know either. Well…he does now. Life in the digital age is strange new territory. The internet has made keeping in touch easier but the social etiquette of things isn’t all laid out nice and neat. I think it’s safe to say, though, immediate family should be informed before a status update. Or maybe Twittering an actual death is the best, most modern way of spreading the news. It worked for David Carradine.
So, now I have the task of telling my dad that his mother might be dead very soon. She’s 92 so it’s not like it’s not been a long time coming, but he’s been asking about her a lot lately. Not because he’s worried about her so much. He’s more interested in protecting the furniture he made her and other material things. He has nothing and so he broods and worries and frets and boils over and hems and haws and…well…you get the picture. He’s got TIME on his HANDS.
I worry that when she does pass, he will enlist me with another laundry list of To Dos. Ask about this, make sure about that. Well, guess what, Dad? If you weren’t in jail, you could do this yourself because I really don’t care about *things*. I’ve shed myself of house and home and junk more times than I can count. I like being portable. I don’t want cars or furniture or stuff.
…Sigh…
But…he has no advocate. No one is listening to him and that’s a big bugga boo for him for so long. To not be heard. So, if he needs help in being heard, I’m the only one here to give that to him.
And I will.
And I’m not sure why.
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A Review of Sorts
Here’s a nice write-up by the lovely and talented Joanna Parson. In it she reviews her “Happy Hour Salon,” a show that features folks working on new works of all sorts. I read from a chapter I was writing for my memoir and she had lovely/funny things to say about my piece.
Anyway, fun show. Check it out sometime.
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Are Memoirs True? by Jerry Waxler
For anyone who is writing or thinking of writing their memoir, here is a great essay. The whole site is an excellent resource as is NAMW.org.
If 2 people disagree about a conversation yesterday, how can we agree about the details of a whole life? It’s an important puzzle for every memoir writer. -
Texas Roundup
I feel like I’m on a “This is Your Life” tour! Having a whirlwind week in Texas with Christian who’s here touring with his DVD “Au Contraire!” We hit Austin Monday, did radio there yesterday, then he performed at the Alamo Draft House. But not before we had a great dinner with some of my long lost high school friends and a Tex in the City pal. I’m seeing most of them again very soon when we return to Texas for my birfday. But the show was good, decent crowd for a Tuesday at a non-comedy venue. It’s actually a movie theater so the setting made for not ideal lighting and sound for comedy but it was great nonetheless.
Speaking of Tex in the City, this Friday is the last First Friday Roundup at Comix. We’re taking July and August off but we’ll resume in September. We’ve already raised loads of cash that will go towards helping Texas theater students come to NYC. More on that later but it’s a dream project of mine and Scott Ramsey‘s and how easily it came to be makes us know we’re doing the right thing. I love Scott so much and doing this with him has warmed the cockles of my heart.
So, back to the tour. We were on The 950 radio this morning talking shop with Outlaw Dave. That was fun. Tonight we’re at the Improv where Christian will headline in front of a pretty large crowd, I think, which includes my mom and a bunch of friends from Ft. Worth (where I attended high school) and Montgomery where I grew up. Then we have to leave at 2:15 in the morning. IN THE MORNING!? To drive to Dallas for morning radio on KZPS 92.5. Oh, Christian pre-taped a segment for Dallas radio with a guy I graduated with. Will have to find the name of the show (some alternative rock show?) but while Christian was getting interviewed we all figured out the connection and now I’m Facebook friends with him. Fun.The Dallas show is the only dicey one on the tour. At 10:30 on a Thursday night it’s a tough spot and, on top of it, the club has a FREE show beforehand. Arrrgh. Hard to compete but hopefully there will be at least 30 people – that’ll make it fun and goofy. Some of those folks will be high school friends, too, but my camera is FULL. Bring cameras, pleeeease? All of us are meeting up for dinner beforehand so we’ll probably be giddy and tipsy.No time to visit Dad in the clink, unfortunately, but at least I’ll get some laughs with Mom tonight. Thanks to everyone who bought tickets and sent notes of support. Hope to see you soon somewhere out there. -
NY Post American Idol Article
I’m not as confident as the four panelists for the NY Post –one of whom was Christian– who all picked Adam Lambert to win. But I will be watching tonight and I’m kind of happy all my favorite shows are ending for the season. I really have too much going on to be wrapped up in Toddlers, Tiaras, Idols, and Survivors.
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TMZ Snark & Touring
TMZ caught some video of me, J@mie Kennedy and Jennifer L0ve Hew1tt going to a TV show yesterday. Eek. Glad they couldn’t see MY bald spot from my cancer surgery. But I guess they weren’t really interested in me. Heh. But why does TMZ or any celeb gossip have to be mired in such catty negativity? I’ve never understood that since to really get good scoop, you have to have the trust of the celebs and their reps.
Anyway, press went really well, Jamie was a trooper and the shows were packed. Jennifer was a dutiful girlfriend and sold merchandise for Jamie after the show. Ah, yes, I remember those days. I miss being able to travel with Christian and help him after shows. But I WILL get to do that as part of his “Au Contraire!” tour when it swings through Texas in a couple of weeks. Check out his calendar for dates and times which also include his appearances at the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival!
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The REAL Star of the Show
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iTunes Screen Grab
Squeeeee! Christian Finnegan’s new one hour of comedy dubbed “Au Contraire!” is on sale at iTunes.com!
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Paquita is a STAR in the Making!
Look at how funny Paquita was on this episode of “Jokespirations,” a series of interviews with Christian as “Rolly Chedwick” interviewing the inspirations to his jokes. All the episodes will be on his DVD “Au Contraire!” in stores May 12th.
—Kambri
Proud Mama -
Hey, Texas, Hold on to Your Boot Straps!
My husband Christian Finnegan will be kicking off his tour for his DVD “Au Contraire!” soon and there are three Texas dates. The Dallas one seems lame and odd (10:30 on a Thursday night at Hyenas…Hyenas? Really?), but it’s better than NOT having a Dallas date, I guess. Anyway, I’ve copied & pasted the info I have so far:
06/02/09 Austin, TX Alamo Drafthouse Cinema (Lake Creek)
Time: 8:00pm. Admission: $15.00. Box office: 512.219.5408.
http://www.drafthouse.com06/03/09 Houston, TX The Houston Improv
Time: 8:00pm. Admission: $15.00. Box office: 713.333.8800.
http://www.symfonee.com/Improv/houston/home/index.aspx06/04/09 Dallas, TX Hyena’s Comedy Club
Time: 10:30pm. Box office: 214.823.5233.
http://www.hyenascomedynightclub.com/Dallas/hyenas-dallas.htmlI hope to see y’all there! -
Entertainment Weekly Review
Yippee! I’m so excited for Christian at his Entertainment Weekly review giving him a “B”. Of course, the review is of his Comedy Central special which is an edited down version of his full hour set.
And I just set the DVR to record CHRISTIAN FINNEGAN: AU CONTRAIRE! on Comedy Central Fri, May 8 @ 11:00PM EST. Psyched to see it on the TVGuide.
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Ben Bailey @ Comix
Ben Bailey just dropped by Comix to shoot a promo for his upcoming headlining appearance on May 29 & 30. Does this disqualify me from being a contestant on “Cash Cab”?
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4.15.09
Janeane Garofalo & I will be out & about tomorrow. First stop is 101.9 RXP with special musical guests The Walkmen. I’m hoping I can charm them out of free tickets for their show tomorrow night at Webster Hall.
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Happy Easter!
Just finished the 1st draft of my memoir. It’s very rough but my brain dump is complete. Huzzah! Off to celebrate!
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Christian on Countdown Last Night
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Olbermann, Au Contraire!, and Paquita on a TV Pilot
Christian will be doing the Countdown thing on MSNBC tonight. He’s using his new Twitter page @ChristFinnegan to get suggestions on which random word to work into a joke. David Schuster is guest hosting and should plug Christian’s upcoming DVD “Au Contraire!”
Speaking of, Warner Brothers put together a trailer for the DVD which turned out really well, I think:
And, finally, I saw some footage of the pilot Paquita filmed for Scoop & Shanda. I snagged a couple of screen captures. She was so cute and composed in front of the live studio audience. I can’t wait for you to see the video footage of her on Christian’s DVD extras, too. Those videos will be added to his above YouTube Channel soon. Meanwhile, click on the pic to take you to the few photos from the pilot.
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TMI Vol. 8, Issue 2
“Be honest, Kambri,” Donna said dripping with accusation in a morphed New York, London, Virgin Islands accent. “Whattuv yew bin doin’?”
“What are you asking? Have I been lifting weights? Noooooo, of course not.”
“Kambri….whattuv yew bin doin’?”
“I live on the 4th floor of a walk up and the subway is two blocks away. What do you think I was doing?”
OF COURSE I was active. Even the Asian lady and Jose the short order cook at my corner deli asked where I was when they saw Christian with our dog for my morning coffee run. I needed to be with my people. The whole no walking two blocks thing was meant for the old folks they usually deal with anyway, right?
Wrong. My stitches were removed and, as I discovered, the whole not walking two blocks thing was real and that extra third week tacked on for my healing was much needed.
Okay, so the cancer was POW! ERADICATED! but there’s still the gaping hole in my head that needs some tending to. And the hole, while on the mend, is still a fleshy divot that looks like a giant ingrown hair. Think Godzilla size if Godzilla had a hair follicle that grew in. In fact, I have to make an appointment to go back to the doctor simply to remove the ingrown hairs they’re expecting. I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really wish I could be the one to free them. But the doctor said NO! with a kind of gross shock and awe guffaw reply, “You won’t be able to reach them!” But why the shock and awe? YOU GET TO DO IT. Not fair. That is some satisfying shit like popping a zit or freeing a baby from a well.
Christian has been a fabulous nursemaid but the road beckons. He is headlining at the DC Improv this weekend and today is his birthday. Some celebration taking his wife to get stitches taken out and examining my new hair follicles in way too bright of light. I’m sure he’s fantasizing about my stubbly gash right now.
In his absence, banished to my 4th floor apartment, I ordered prepped meals from Fresh Direct arriving some time between 4 & 6 tomorrow, and my buddy Jose swung by with some necessities to tide me over till then. You know: V-8, toilet paper and beer.
Neither place, however, delivers Bacitracin or nurse services and trying to swab a gaping wound in the reversed mirror image of your own head is a weird / hard / painful / gross / fucked up / sad / laughable trial and error with heavy weight on the error part. Basically Bacitracin is serving as a deep conditioning treatment for the new hair growth which is surprisingly thick and dark. Very dark. So dark, I might go brown when I finally get to get a shave and a haircut since I will never go in the sun again ever. EVER. You hear that, Texas?
Ummm. What else? Oh, yes, so it’s Christian’s worst birthday ever, and I snuck a thank you / birthday card in his suitcase. There really are no words to express how thankful I am to my friends for stepping forward with some chocolate, US Weekly, morbid humor, normalcy and general occupation with stupid emails. But Christian? This Bud’s for you (if you drank Bud) and I tried to say so in a note that made him cry…
On the toilet.
ON THE TOILET.
He read my heartfelt thank you for taking care of my stubbly gash when I thought I was burying myself and willing my dog and things to friends and writing the final chapter of my book…nay, my life…ON THE TOILET WHILE TAKING A DUMP AND STARTED CRYING.
What can I say, it was moving. Hey-O!
—Kambri
Gash. Heh. -
Bleep the Bleeping Bleep
Comedy Central just bleeped “Holocaust” and followed it up with a Girls Gone Wild commercial.
—Kambri
Well done, America. Well done. -
Psst! Hey Kid, Wanna See My Scar?
Now that I’ve gotten the all clear from my doctor, I feel like I can unload what’s been occupying my every thought, every hour, every minute, every second of every day: I had some cancer scooped out of my scalp.
Basically, I had a half dollar-sized birthmark on my scalp that went haywire and required a chemosurgery called Mohs Technique. Sometimes it’s not a good thing, the Internet, because I spent the week preparing for surgery doing Google image searches of Mohs and generally freaking myself out. Even though the survival rate of Mohs is quite high (upper 90s percentile a/k/a seriously-ridiculous-to-worry level), I had planned a very elaborate funeral and Scott & Brian called dibs on my dog Paquita.
After the surgery, I sent Mom and a few close friends a wrap-up which I’ll share part of here:
Subject: De Pain, Boss! De Pain!
So that sucked, but thank God it’s done. Despite some minor downsides, I think it’s all good.
It went from “Do you have Tylenol at home?” to “Have you ever taken Tylenol with Codeine?” to “Are you allergic to Percocet and Oxycontin and Tramadol?”
I was awake for the whole thing and, um, yeah, it’s surreal to hear your scalp getting cut away with scissors and to know it’s not going well. Close your eyes and imagine the sound of chewing a mouthful of Cap’n Crunch except the crunching, tearing sound isn’t cereal, it’s your head. Still hungry? Neither was I.
To put my Humpty Dumpty scalp back together they called in Oliver, a Spanish fellow who thinks Lil Rounds is going to win this season American Idol*, to push and pull and grunt and hold my scalp in place while they clamped it shut. WTF? How far we’ve come with medicine but it takes some hairy man arms to pull me back together. He did everything except use his feet to leverage more strength. Barbaric / Awesome.
The major downside is that due to the extra scooping and cutting they had to do, an extra week was tacked on before the stitches can come out. I am only allowed to walk two blocks at a time but, since I’m on the 4th floor of a walk up they said that’s definitely out. So, thank heavens for DVRs, DVDs and the Internet. But Facebook + Wordscraper + Percocet + Tramadol + Oxycontin = zero writing on my book.
Christian canceled his week at the Ft. Lauderdale Improv so he could take care of me. Twice a day for over two weeks now he has cleaned and bandaged the giant, bloody gash on my head**. I can’t thank the Universe enough for bringing us together. Although we’re kind of getting sick of being around each other this much — usually I’m in the city and/or he’s on the road for at least part of every week — there’s no one else I’d rather annoy or be annoyed by.Late Thursday, I learned that I’m all clear. No further surgery, chemo or radiation required. So now, I just have to get the stitches out and grow my hair back. For the non-squeamish, here’s a link to a photo of the scar in the making. It’s not a small area as you can see and two and half weeks after the surgery, my hair is only 1/8 of an inch long. I haven’t gotten a haircut in months and my hair is scraggly and patchy and awful. I’ll be glad to see my hairstylist Daniel again and have him whip up some magic around the gash.
Christian’s DVD tour will be starting soon and I was looking forward to traveling with him to Texas to see old friends — some for the first time in 20 years. And while I would rather not sport a short ‘do, it’s better than being bald or, you know, dead. So, instead, I’ll see y’all soon wearing a snappy new spring beret and pretending I’m your French cousin.
—Kambri
*Clearly Oliver is there for his braun not brain. Lil Rounds has as much of a chance of winning American Idol as I do starring in a shampoo commercial. Ain’t happening.**No sooner did I praise him before he got on the radio and said my wound looked like a second vagina. Bloody gash, indeed!
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Christian was on The Today Show
>In a pre-produced piece about Obama’s Leno appearance. He’s in the very last few seconds and they made a really strange choice in quotes. Anyway, here it is:
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
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Olbermann Two Nights in a Row!
Christian was on Olbermann again on Wednesday night making it two nights in a row. Sweet! And Keith plugged Christian’s headlining appearances at Comix this weekend. Four shows, tonight & tomorrow. www.comixny.com. Meanwhile, here’s the video:
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
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Christian (and Comix) on the Tee Vee
Christian on Olbermann with guest host David Schuster and Comix got two plugs from David. Nice!
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
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Page Six & Margaret Cho
Yesterday was a banner day. The Tom Davis party (see below entries) made it into Page Six yesterday. And at 5:30 last night we announced Margaret Cho as John Roberts‘ special guest on Sunday night’s two shows at Comix. Then at 6:30 we celebrated the First Friday Roundup in the main bar with nearly 100 guests enjoying complimentary Pearl Vodka cocktails and $4 Lone Stars. Pictures to come on Monday.
—Kambri
Now that that’s done. Back to the writing. -
Twitter Plugs
My Twitter page was written up in Newyorkology and Black Book Magazine. Sweet!
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NY Post Video of Tom Davis’ Book Party @ Comix
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Tom Davis Book Party @ Comix
From the Tom Davis book party I threw at Comix. Photograph by Andrew Walker for Getty Images. The rest are here:
www.gettyimages.com/Search/Search.aspx?EventId=85160100
WireImage pics here: wireimage.com/ItemListings.aspx?igi=357114&nbc1=1
FilmMagic here: filmmagic.com/ItemListing.aspx?cgl=357075&evntI=0
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Dog Day Afternoon
My dog Paquita’s day is about to go from zero to AWESOME. She’ll run on a treadmill, drink wine, play dead & more in front a TV audience. Fatman Scoop & Shonda of MTV’s “Man & Wife” are shooting a talk show at Comix today and needed a small dog for a segment. Well, guess who got the gig? Ms. Paquita Borgito Borgato Chorizo Jimenez!
After nailing her lines during the filming of Christian’s “Au Contraire!” DVD extras (pictured at right on set with Christian and director Oren Brimer), her reputation of being a pro in front of the camera got around.I hope she nails her scenes again today. Either way, we’ll get some great footage to add to her reel.
—Kambri
Eat her Pupperoni, Taco Bell Dog! -
Oscar Night Oh What a Night!
My annual Academy Awards viewing party was better than ever. This year’s RSVPs totaled 450 with about 250 in attendance. My Tex in the City pal Scott Ramsey helped co-host the night (Christian was traveling this year) and designed these lovely centerpieces. Each table had different movie posters and celebrity images illuminated with candles. Cool, huh?Special thanks to Brian Donnelly & Katie LaStoria for helping tally ballots and trivia. Thanks to everyone who came out and made the night a ton of fun and huge success. Until next year, happy movie watching.
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SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 22ND — FREE ACADEMY AWARDS VIEWING PARTY
Watch the Oscars in our showroom for FREE and enjoy discounted food and drinks all night long.
SPACE IS LIMITED, RSVP REQUIRED! See below for RSVP details.
You’ll have the whole Comix bar and showroom to enjoy with big flat screen TVs showing nothing but the Oscars. They’ll have ballots for sale with chances to win lots of great prize packages given out during commercial breaks. Even if you show up late, you won’t be out of the running to go home with a prize.
Brush up on your trivia, too, for even MORE chances to win.
Food specials include:
CalaMarlee Matlin
Lord of the Wings
Whoopi GoldBurgerEnjoy drinks like:
Tropic Thunder
Harvey’s Milk
Frosty Nixon and more!6:30 until End of Broadcast
Comix
353 W 14th Street
New York, NY 10014
212.524.2500 | www.comixny.comShowroom doors open at 6:30 so if you’re into the red carpet coverage you won’t miss out. Oscars start at 8:00.
RSVP to kc@texinthecity.com with the number in your party. Seating is first come, first serve for those with an RSVP. If you don’t RSVP, seating is limited to the main bar.
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Roundup Wrap Up & Stuff
Last night’s Tex in the City First Friday Roundup was the most attended event in Tex in the City history. We raked in over $1,000 in sales and that’s not including any raffle stuff. Photos and a write up to come. Pencil in March 6th from 6:30 – 9:00 for the next one. Be sure to RSVP as might need tight security check in. We’ll see.
Next up is my annual Academy Awards viewing party. This free event has also grown every year with last year’s attendance at about 250 people. Christian will be out of town this year so my Tex in the City partner Scott Ramsey will be co-hosting. Tomorrow, after Paquita films her scenes for Christian’s DVD extras, she and I will head over to Scott’s place in the Village to brainstorm menu and drink names. Last year I had fun with “There Will be Bloody Marys” and “No Cosmo for Old Men.” This year’s menu and nominees are tougher, but I still have a few funny ones, I think.
But back to tomorrow’s filming. I’m really excited for Paquita’s film debut. Her picture has been in the Onion before but that was just a pose. For her scene, she has to perform about five of the fifteen plus tricks she knows all while sitting in a 1970s mod chair as she’s “interviewed” by Christian who will be in costume. I’ll take some photos throughout the day and post some online as a sneak peak.
Stage mom. -
It’s Official!
Christian Finnegan’s hour long comedy special “Au Contraire!” will air on Comedy Central May 9th and the DVD hit stores May 12th!
Last night he was on Olbermann with guest host David Schuster and really hit a few homeruns cracking up Schuster:
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
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My Week at a Glance
Tomorrow I’m having an after work powwow with my new editor. My original one was canned as part of corporate downsizing. Whatcha gonna do? It’s a pretty common occurrence in the industry, I guess. On the positive side, my new one is super stoked about working with me. I’ve heard friends’ nightmare tales of getting a new editor who completely hates the book, doesn’t jive well with them, etc. I should consider myself lucky. Another positive, I hadn’t gotten very far with my original editor since I was busy writing the first draft. I’m thisclose to having a solid working manuscript, only lacking a few more chapters.
Wednesday is the doctor, meetings, meetings, meetings and a late evening tour of Comix to an author friend of mine who might have her book launch party there at my suggestion.
Thursday is Carolyn Castiglia‘s one person show at Ars Nova. Baron Vaughn directed it and Chris “Shockwave” Sullivan of The Electric Company and Freestyle Love Supreme lends his beatboxing talents. Baron is on board to direct *my* one person show if and when I decide to move forward with that. I would probably adapt it from my book in some way so I’m waiting till I’m in the galley stage.
Carolyn is a peach of a gal and going through some major life changes. I expect that to make her show all that much more intense and entertaining. Click here for ticketing details and maybe I’ll see you there.
And Friday, of course, is the First Friday Roundup at Comix from 6:30 – 9:00 or later.
So, that leaves tonight as the only quiet time available to write. I knew this week was going to be a doozy. I’m still trying to figure out a “better way” to squeeze in all the writing time I need while not letting my time with friends and the gym slip away. I got to hang out with a few of my favorite people at “The Family Hour” show in Ochi’s on Saturday night and was like a giddy little kid on a field trip. It’s been forever since I was on the show and got to be with friends just for fun. I read from Chapter Four: Wild Kingdom and was pleasantly surprised at how well it went. Readings aren’t always fun — especially when stacked up against some great story telling — but the audience responded to the parts I had *hoped* were funny. So, turns out all the stuff I wrote when I kept asking myself, “Why would anyone like this?” wasn’t half bad. That’s enough positive feedback to stoke the creative fire for a few more weeks! Being isolated in so many old memories for hours and hours on end sure will zap you of your confidence.*
—Kambri
*And will also make you a stinky recluse. -
Free Tequila @ the First Friday Roundup
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 6th– FIRST FRIDAY ROUNDUP
Join us at the First Friday Roundup for FREE specialty cocktails, other cheap drink specials, $4 LONE STAR beer, delicious food at a discount. Bring your business cards and a smile as this is a great mixer, meet & greet opportunity.6:30 – 9:00*
Comix
353 W 14th Street
New York, NY 10014
212.524.2500 www.comixny.com*Free cocktails available until 8:00. Space is limited. RSVP REQUIRED . We burst at the seams at the last event! RSVP to kc@texinthecity.com
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Filming Update
Christian has Oren Briner lined up to direct his DVD extras which we’ll be filming on February 8th at College Humor’s studios. Paquita has been officially cast as the Chihuahua and my hope is that she doesn’t blow it. She’s in her fake pregnancy stage right now which will hopefully pass soon so she’s back to normal for the cameras. Though, fake pregnancy or not, she’ll do anything for a Pupperoni treat. We’ll see. The roles of the real life pole vaulter and sex shop worker have also been filled, so thanks to all who responded.
More thrillingly, along with Oren, our friend Pete Holmes are finalists in the Doritos Crash the Superbowl Contest. This means they get to go to the Superbowl to see if their commercial wins in real-time. You can vote for their spot “New Flavor Pitch” (which features one of my favorite Ochi’s & Comix comedians Matt McCarthy) every day here: www.crashthesuperbowl.com/#/gallery/Voting also enters you to win tickets to the Super Bowl.
