Featuring Andres du Bouchet, Adira Amram & H. Alan Scott. Hosted by Christian Finnegan & Sean Crespo. Written and directed by Kambri Crews. Filmed and edited by Carol Hartsell.
But not sleepy enough! Being it’s 2:30 AM and I’m in the midst of gobs of good stuf. Working to get West Coast press on East Coast time is exhausting. But…a radio tour for the Stand Uppity tour is in place plus a buttload of print and stuff.
Meanwhile, check out Christian getting in a “Kung Fu Fighting” joke and “Bad Ass with the DoJo” quote (???) on the news tonight.
Christian also suffers from the Ron Howard Effect.
Tune in to Countdown with Keith Olbermann tonight on MSNBC to see Christian in the last segment talking politics and other awkward subjects.
Hey friendlies! I’ll be traveling to Atlanta with my husband Christian Finnegan when he headlines the Punchline May 1st thru 4th. If you’re around, come on out to a show and hang out afterwards with us. Show details are here: http://www.punchline.com.
See you soon!
And plugging tonight’s show:
See Me on the Kevin Murphy Show live in New York!
Tue, Dec 11 @ 8:00 PM – $5
332 E 11th Street
Kevin, Jodi and Jennifer the Panda are having a holiday spectacular! Kambri Crews will stop by to talk about her times living in a tin shed in Texas. Also ultimate bad boy Colin Kane and cutie Catie Lazarus will stop by. We have a special treat, Maura Madden and Rufus Tureen will stop by to show a couple of their hilarious videos for you! THIS SHOW IS JAM PACKED!
Christian was sick but I think he still did okay.
Who keeps Googling “Kambri Finnegan”?* Eew. As if.
And I STILL get tons of Google hits for Molly Shannon’s nipple mishap yet I have STILL never heard or seen evidence of such a mishap.
And “Christian Finnegan Weight Loss” remains #1 on the Google search hit bonanza for this site even though Christian wrote a big old blog entry over a year ago. People still think it happened overnight, but whatever. He goes to a personal trainer and busts his tail to keep his weight at status quo sans surgery, coke or vomiting.
No offense Finnegans of the world, but come on…Kambri Crews = pretty awesome name. Kambri Finnegan? I’m not even Irish!
We made it home late last night after a pretty non-eventful day of travel. Well, uneventful excpet for ride to the airport. The cab was driven by an Apache Indian who had decorated the entire interior of the cab with feathers, dried flowers, etc. He was so incredibly nice he even showed us his photos of his grandson’s naming ceremony and gave me a hug before we parted ways.
I spent the flight reading a book Christian got me for my birthday — a quick little read about the publishing industry — to help me prep for my upcoming book proposal meetings. Meetings which I now feel infinitely less qualified to attend but will try to bluff my way through.
Spending my birthday in Austin was amazing. Seeing old friends, the magic of the MySpace birthday notification and the kindness of the club staff meant that I had lots of birthday wishes, desserts, gifts and general goodness bestowed upon me. Being a little periodical meant that I welled up with happy tears at least three times. Thank you for making it a really special weekend for me.
No snarkiness here, just real gratitude.
“There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” — Oscar Wilde
DVDs of the pilots The Class, The Winner, and Andy Barker, PI were in our mailbox this afternoon. Of the three, the first is the only one with any IMDB message board chatter. Since I don’t actually read message boards (they either anger me or addict me — both scenarios constitute a supreme waste of my time), who knows what the chatter is actually about. Wilde’s quote generally holds true, I think, but sometimes in television all the advance buzz can kill a good thing. So maybe slipping quietly under the radar (Oh hello, According to Jim) while better shows get canceled (Arrested Development anyone?) ain’t such a worse thing in life. Anyway, I will chat about them (or not) after I watch them tonight.
We also received a new digital camera today (Fun mailbox trek — take that rain!) and I promptly began futzing with the settings. Check out this very first photo I snapped (click for larger view). No joke! I couldn’t get that again if I tried. She’s giving a big wink and a smile to the giver of such an awesome gift who also happens to hang out with Paquita regularly so it’s like she knew.
Finally, I am planning on inviting some creative types and/or those in the media, PR, comedy or distribution to join me for drinks to discuss Christian’s CD and brainstorm marketing and PR ideas. In exchange for the time and effort, the drinks will be my treat. I’ll give everyone a free copy of the CD, of course, and will try to come up with some other freebies as a thank you. If you’d like to participate, please email me . I’m looking at a Tuesday or Wednesday in the next week or two or three and will keep attendance to 10 or fewer. If you can’t make it, still feel free to contact me with any ideas or, hell, any other time you’d like to meet. I think we’ll have fun and hopefully help Christian’s CD sales.
Come on, people! Free drinks! A free CD you can give to a step-something-or-other at Christmas! Me! What more could you ask for?
In L.A. for a showcase at the Laugh Factory before jetting off to a lodge in Salt Lake City for some hot honeymoon action of which the Mormons are sure to disapprove. Meanwhile, I can’t get to everyone’s emails and comments which makes me sad because my heart is bursting from its newly enlarged size to make room for all the love everyone showed us. So instead I’ll sip frozen drinks poolside at the Standard and warm my spirits in a heated pool on top of some mountain whose name I can’t remember. Pfft.
Meanwhile, here are some great captures of me making my way to the stage as Christian lets me pass in front of him. I’m positively bursting with happiness. Truly the best weekend of my life. And when Tears for Fears’ “Head Over Heels” blasted over the speakers, Christian and I giggled like schoolgirls up in the private loft. Best entrance song ever. Better than — dare I say it — anything by AC/DC, but don’t tell anyone I said that.
On to the pics. Click on them for alternate sizes including high resolution versions.
So we got married, blah, blah, blah. That doesn’t take any talent or special skill, so on to other topics of interest.
We missed seeing my pal Mandy of the NY Post at our nuptials; but I suppose if you’re going to miss a wedding, getting bitten by Andy Dick while covering the roast for William Shatner then having it covered in Page Six makes for an excellent excuse!
We also missed our friend Adam Felber because he was out in LA for his new book Schrodinger’s Ball which also happened to get a great review in the NY Times. In a bummer turn of scheduling, he’ll be in New York this weekend while we’re out in LA and Utah. This means we’ll miss the private shindig hosted by his friend, NPR co-worker and co-blogger Mo Rocca at Mo’s pad celebrating our mutual friend’s milestone.
Faithful readers will recall that Mo popped in for Edith Layton’s book launch party. Why? She’s Adam’s mom, that’s why! She also happens to be an amazing woman and multi-award winning romance novelist with her own book coming out soon. That family is sincerely talented and awesome and funny with her daughter Susie Felber adding to the talent pool as an accomplished comedian and writer and gorgeous mommy-to-be. She also happened to capture the (thus far) only photo of me smiling too wide whilst descending the stairs at my wedding party thingy.
There’s plenty more of our friends who we need to congratulate — more books, CDs, marriages and what not — but right now I’m just bubbling with joy for Adam and for Mandy probably not being “too AIDS-y“.
“Pitch out!” – Grady Hinchman
Quote by more than five or more dozen guests tonight. I heartily agree.
Sideways smiley face.
Coney Island, here we come!
So Friday I decided I wanted to carry flowers. And last night thought, “Maybe I should paint my nails because people will want to see my ring.” And, oh, I haven’t written a toast yet and we still need to buy bubbles and tablecloths.
So what did I do? Got hammered with my mom, mother-in-law-to-be and my ex-mother-in-law from my first marriage who came in from Ohio and I haven’t seen since ’95. Plus “Reverend” Ramsey and lots of friends were there to party.
I had a wee bit of a headache this morning but no matter. We got up for brunch and a little hair of the dog, found the exact flowers I had in mind plucked from an arrangement at a funeral home, bubbles and tablecloths all within a square block.
Sometimes living in Astoria is awesome. Where else can you find a giant party store, funeral home with attached flower store, an awesome diner with giant bloody marys and a million dollar stores with cases of bubbles just hours before your wedding? Not on Park Avenue, I assure you.
Blogging when I should be writing a toast and maybe getting a manicure. And maybe shaving my legs or underarms.
With only three days left till wedded bliss, things are running smoothly if not a little jam-packed with all of Christian’s CD stuff.
The weather report looks promising with mid-80 temperatures and sunny skies. I don’t care if it rains on Saturday but I will be sorely disappointed if Sunday is a bust for Coney Island and Christian’s first pitch for the Brooklyn Cyclones for which he is ill prepared. Just where should one practice pitching when one does not own a ball or a glove or a yard? His finger was wrenched last Tuesday, too. It healed almost completely within two days but he’s been treating it with kid gloves hoping to get it back to 100% in time to throw. This could be awe-ful-some.
I also cashed in an offer from Serednipity 3 that Christian got in his gift bag back when he appeared on Last Call with Carson Daly. It was supposed to give him a free Golden Opulence Sundae. Valued at $1,000, it is the most expensive dessert in the world. Turns out that offer was a Valentine’s Day promotion so the publicist is giving us and two out-of-town wedding guests free lunch instead. That’s even better in my book but don’t tell the publicist that.
Oh! In other “windfalls” news, you know those news reports about unclaimed funds that are just floating out in the universe that eventually revert to the State? Well, I have some! $1,098 to be more specific. What a nice little surprise. I read and re-read the letter a dozen times sure that it was a scam but it’s not. Who knows what $1,100 will buy? I got a free laptop not long ago, don’t need clothes or books or electronics or anything really. I guess I’ll invest it barring any brilliant ideas on how to blow money I didn’t even know I had.
Spa treatments? More classes at NYU? A weekend getaway?
So I’ve been pitching (heh) the Brooklyn Cyclones like crazy hoping they would let Christian throw out the first pitch the day after our wedding when we take our big group of 60 to go see the game. I hadn’t heard anything and was kvetching to my old boss Jack over vodka gimlets about how I really wanted that to be my wedding present to Christian.
Guess who Jack just happens to know? The owner of the Cyclones. One phone call later and guess who is throwing out the first pitch on Sunday, August 13th? Yeah, I knew three years of office insanity with Jack would pay off.
Update: As it turns out, it was my pitch that did it and not the phone call. Guess who will still try to claim credit and lord it over me until I re-pay him?
Guess who is in line for a very special thank you that he’ll never let me forget?
As a birthday gift, NBC aired Christian’s appearance on Last Call with Carson Daly. Here’s the clip featuring a whopping four minutes of stand up by the birthday boy. Watch it here.
This is the first year I haven’t baked him a cake since we cut sugar out of our diet for our New Year’s resolution. I feel like a slacker somehow. I treated him to a free viewing of all the Beastie Boys videos directed by “Nathanial Hornblower” (aka Beastie Boy member MCA) at the AMMI. It was us and two girls when the show started and at the end we all clapped. On our way out we noticed a man had snuck in while the lights were out. That man? MCA / Nathanial Hornblower. Christian was so excited he interrupted MCA’s conversation with the two girls to introduce himself. Yay! Then I treated him to afternoon booze and food at a pub where we played video games till we ran out of singles.
I can’t stop laughing slash sweating slash snorting slash blushing when I look at this hilarious slash sexy slash embarrassing photo of me & Erik Estrada as my fiance’, comedian Christian Finnegan, sulks nearby:
Video taken at the 2006 TV Land Awards right before we hit the red carpet:
Here are a few photos from the TV Land affiliate’s cocktail party at Shutters in Santa Monica that took place the night before the awards ceremony. It was a small little gathering with Christian performing and Marion Ross, Tom Wopat, Christopher Knight, Adam West & Erik Estrada as the other celebrity guests. There’s a cute one of Marion Ross & Christian embracing. She’s so cute. Gotta get my disposable camera developed for the pic of me & Erik. I hope it turns out!
During the aforementioned cocktail party, Larry, the president of TV Land, told us a funny anecdote about musical guest Diana Ross. While setting up the stage in preparation for her performance, she told a production crew member she wanted a speaker moved.
“Yes, Ms. Ross. I’ll try to do that for you.”
“Now you know I don’t like the word ‘try’.”
How awesome is she?!
Flew home with Adam West & Mary Tyler Moore.
If you had told the 13-year-old, tin trailer living, outhouse using, raggedy clothes wearing version of me that her life would come to this, she would have wanted to believe it with every fiber of her being but couldn’t possibly have imagined it coming true. I swear I wished on many a bright star, birthday cake candle and 11:11 clock read-out that I would have a life & career that allowed me to have a night like I had tonight. And the awards haven’t even happened yet!
Tom Wopat told Christian, “Your fiance is beautiful.” And he was totally serious. And he was talking about ME! Later, I “made out” with Erik Estrada (picture forthcoming) with Christian’s blessing. Erik is by far the most gregarious, charismatic person I have ever met solidifying my impeccalbe taste in men even when I was pre-pubescent.
Marion Ross is the most awesome, touchy feely lady ever.
Adam West is witty and vibrant and clever and handsome. He also lives in Idaho which made Christian bite his tongue to abstain from making a bat cave joke.
Chris(topher) Knight was without Adrianne which made me sad because I think she’s adorable, but he was enthusiastic and gracious all the same.
I fear for this site’s future because I can’t really honestly talk about half the crazy, surreal, jaw dropping moments and, well, what’s the point of writing about them if I can’t really write about them?
Tomorrow is going to feel like the ULTIMATE Battle of the Network Stars!
I’ll be taping behind the scenes and “reporting” from Dublin. I had great fun brainstorming ideas for my shoot yesterday with my dear friend Scott and am now so damned excited to get there. The worst case scenario is that I’ll have lots of fun footage for our memories, my Ballyhoo Newsletter, Christian’s newsletter and my “reel”. The best case scenario is that I develop a really great “movie” that can be sold or used elsewhere in some capacity. We shall see.
Either way, look for Christian on Comedy Central the night of St. Patrick’s Day for the end product of our trip.
More than a wee bit psyched.
6:27 PM — I left my office at just in time to get caught in a thunderous, torrential rain. Most (smart) people were standing under shelters or in buildings. Not me. I was walking to the subway on to an open bar party at The Cellar hosted by the Onion. Neither rain nor snow not heat or gloom of night stays this consumer from the swift completion of swilling my appointed free Bass.
6:32 PM — Once safely tucked away in the 49th Street station, I sat down on a bench and wrung my pants. Twisted them till lots of water poured out. So much so that a man actually stopped, pointed and laughed incredulously.
8:56 PM – The keg was tapped. I headed to the Boston Comedy Club for a fundraiser being held on behalf of Kevin Knox. Here’s what I said about it on Christian’s calendar:
Boston comic Kevin Knox has recently been fighting lymph node cancer and is seeking treatment not covered by his insurance. Come out and help Kevin pay his medicals bills with laughter…it is the best medicine, after all. [Sorry.]
9:11 PM – I arrived at the club. Four people were there. Two from Germany, two from France. They didn’t know Kevin. They did know English. For some reason, the show was not canceled. The host began his set talking to the four people. An annoyed Dustin Chafin, comic & manager of the club, breezed through and said loudly:
You’re really helping out your friend!
Ouch. I napped on a bench till Christian finished his set.
9:35 PM – My pants were officially dried.
9:46 PM – Extra large fries purchased at McDonald’s.
9:52 PM – Christian and I cabbed it to 40/40 Club for a private birthday party in the Jay-Z Lounge (read the linked review). Don’t go there. EVER. Unless, of course, you like the possiblity of getting raped in the co-ed bathroom or having blaring hip hop play as you snort coke off a table before sipping a $17 drink. I wish I were joking.
10:30 PM – Finally received the first drink of the evening. Christian had a Jack & Coke (which was not Jack & Coke, but he drank it anyway) and I had Pinot Grigio. Tally: $31.
11:37 PM – We finish our drinks and walk out annoyed that we wasted one hour and thirty-seven minutes of our lives in that ridiculous place. On our way out, the door swings open to a different private room just in time for us to see a woman snorting a line of coke.
11:55 PM – Our cab ride home is complete. Tally: $15. Not enough for a drink at 40/40.
What’s in a Name?
Remember the One 2 One Living magazine article I mentioned in the Ballyhoo Promotions Newsletter? Well some of you may have noticed that they refer to Christian as “Chris” in the graphics. No where, ever, do I or he refer to Christian as “Chris.” Who does that? Especially in the entertainment biz. After all, there is a Chris Finnegan on IMDB. They actually had his name as “Chris” all throughout originally until I sent them an email correcting their mistake. The editor wrote me back:
Are you fucking kidding me?
When someone you report to (boss, client, person of some authority, whatever) asks you a question. Then later they ask someone else the same question. Are they checking your honesty? Doubting your knowledge? Mistrusting your judgment? Just a big jackhole moron?
The Queens Tribune interviewed Christian and I have quote, too.
Although coy about his fame, his girlfriend [that’s me!] described how it is starting to have an affect on national security. During a trip to the nation’s capital, “we went to the National Archives and were mobbed by groups of these teen ‘delegates’ in town for the festivities [the inauguration],” she wrote the Tribune in an e-mail.
‘We’re standing next to the Emancipation Proclamation and they’re taking flash photography, which is against the law and damaging to historical documents. These kids,” she continued, “were more interested in a guy who makes fun of Lindsay Lohan’s breast implants than the document that ensured blacks their freedom.”—Kambri
Does that make me Queen of Queens?
TUESDAY, MARCH 1ST – Sob Stories – We are Family!
Does your Dad have more ex-wives than he has ties? Are you secretly in love with your step-sister? Convinced you were switched at birth? This month, comics tell tales of families more screwed up than yours.
Join host Christian Finnegan (Best Week Ever) and featured guests Peter Hyman (author The Reluctant Metrosexual), Chris Regan (3x Emmy winning writer for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart), Eric Slovin (writer for Saturday Night Live) and Rachel Feinstein (Comedy Central’s Premium Blend).
356 Bowery (btwn Great Jones & E. 4th St)
$5.00 – NO drink minimum!
There was another strong showing at Sob Stories last night. Don’t miss next month’s show called “Family Jewels” when comics relate tales of their horrible gene pools. Hmm…maybe I should book myself on the show.
A Swedish woman says she opened a bottle of ketchup to find a human penis inside.
“It’s disgusting. We would like to know how this thing ended up in a ketchup bottle,” said Viktoria Ed. – Bill Hoffman, Wire Services via the NY Post.
Catch Ophira Eisenberg on Comedy Central this Friday when her Premium Blend episode premieres at 10:00 PM EST.
Life Inside My New Apartment
Much time is spent daydreaming and discussing what colors, furniture, rugs, curtains to keep, get rid of, buy new …just how do we want this new place to look? I told Christian I would enlist my dear friend Scott’s help. “Yes. Time to call in the Gays,” Christian replied.
So, if you need a matching dresser/mirror & chest of drawers, a stereo, VCR, Foreman grill, microwave, mosaic & iron coffee & end tables or a wicker coffee table, email me.
Tonight marked the end of “Eating It” at Luna Lounge. The former moves to the Zipper (love that place!) and the latter gets demolished and turned into condos.
But I can’t really think about that.
We did it. We took the plunge. We signed a lease for a new apartment. No more turning back now.
We literally went from making the single most important jointly made decision together to the Lower East Side to an alternative comedy show in a dive bar and promptly got drunk. The bar even gave out champagne to mark the occasion. Well, technically it was for the end of “Eating It”, but whatever…
Pictures coming soon!
I am happy to report that Christian is doing really well headlining at the DC Improv. The shows have been sold out and he has been in top notch performance mode. I am excelling in my role of “enthusiastic and supportive girlfriend” by eating and drinking for free, hanging out in the green room, flirting with old professors and generally not getting in the way or on his nerves. Part of why I’m here this weekend — aside from the reasonable cost and ease of traveling here by train, that it’s a long weekend, I haven’t been in DC since ’96 and I had nothing better to do — is because yesterday marked our two year anniversary.
We celebrated with an okay lunch at Smith & Wollensky. On the whole, S&W is supremely overrated. Or at least this one was. Christian’s filet something provier was tasty, but the service was inattentive, my lemon chicken was dry as a bone and bland to boot, and our Bloody Marys were the worst tasting spicy alcoholic crap. On the upside, their salads — both the Caesar and the mixed greens — were amazing as were the whipped potatos. Dessert was overly generous and scrumptious and the price was extremely affordable due to the $20.05 Restaurant Week fare we enjoyed. Would I go back? If it were Restaurant Week, yes. I would simply stick to their specialty: red meat, make sure my server wasn’t sick or they weren’t going through a shift change, and stick to wine.
Having an anniversary that falls during a season of new beginnings affords us the opportunity to look back at the year together, acknowledge our amazing milestones and fun times as well as set goals for the future 12 months. We did this last year, and I’m pretty certain that one of Christian’s goals was to have his own 1/2 hour special (CHECK!) and one of mine was to start my own production and PR company (CHECK!). I can’t wait to see if this year’s goals are checked off with similar success. Stay tuned for January 15, 2006, for an update.
Today we woke up early — well, early for two people sleeping in a dark, cool hotel room after hanging out till the wee hours — and took the Metro to The Smithsonian’s American History Museum for four hours of absorbing our Nation’s history. We thoroughly enjoyed the Star Spangled Banner exhibit. Since 1998, it has been undergoing an extensive and exhaustive reconstruction and cleansing. A process you must see to believe. There is also a relatively new exhibit, open since November 11th, about the U.S. and all of its wars called “The Price of Freedom.” While the Civil War and WWII exhibits were extensive, I was disappointed at the lack of anything about 9/11 other than a giant steel beam and a phone from one of the planes. That was it? Seriously? I suppose more perspective must be gained to have an unbiased and less emotional influence on the display. History, after all, is still being made with regard to that day. It is strange to think, however, that 50 years from now that 9/11 is reduced to just that…a big beam and a mashed up sky phone.
Tomorrow on the Daily Dose: a trip to the National Archives!
Some time ago, 1-800-Flowers & Cataldi PR, contacted Ballyhoo Promotions with regard to Christian Finnegan. I sent them his press kit which contains his contributions to Jest. They loved his work and felt like he would be the perfect match to write the Thoughtless Male Survival Guide.
They were right.
His guidebook is heeeeelarious and will be availble online soon. A campaign is in the works for Christian to make live appearances across New York (and LA?) and conduct various radio interviews in hopes of helping thoughtless men across America make nice and play well with the women in their lives.
Meanwhile, look for a blurb by him (alongside his sexy new headshot) on page 56 of the February 2005 issue of FHM.
Update: See the scan of the FHM blurb.
Caroline’s on Broadway was chock full of laughter, and yet no mike was plugged in. Mix one part open bar, one part ham & turkey buffet and 150 comedians and you’ve got yourself a bunch of pictures requiring major red eye removal.
We arrived earlier than expected at 5 minutes past the official start time of 10:00, yet the place was already hopping with revelers. Most notable at that early hour was Stacey J from The Apprentice who seemed to be the guest of Paul Mooney who was dressed in a giant fur hat, military coat and heavy boots and danced alone in the sightlines of the spotlight & camera and a reserved Gilbert Gottfried.
One drink and a buffet round down, I headed back to the bar to see Lynne Koplitz & her boyfriend, Nick, arriving. We said our hellos and chatted briefly about how well my friend did as a guest on Lynne’s show, Life & Style, last week.
I had a nice chat with Lou Viola, head of programming of the HBO U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen. His was a name I’ve heard many times over the course of two years and finally had the pleasure of meeting. He was knew of my newsletter, which was encouraging.
Donnell Rawlings passed me and stopped in his tracks. A big broad smile swept across his face, “Hey, I know you!” I have heard great things about his Chappelle’s Show Live comedy tour with Charlie Murphy & Bill Burr and he confirmed, “That show is whack.” To which I replied, “Is that good?” (I’m so square. Have I correctly spelled “whack”?) Apparently, “whack” is very, very good. The shows are packed, the audiences are enthusiastic and the money is rolling in. He has divorced since the last time we met, but is nevertheless enjoying himself as evidenced in the photo below.
During this time, Dave Attell was making his way towards us. I was interested in meeting him, but he was intercepted at least five times. I never did get to say hello. I did, however, have very brief and pleasant encounter with Jim Norton, but not Patrice Oneal who is just a bit much for my taste.
On our way out, I met (again?) Artie Lange who said I should drop by his studio to deliver the latest Jest Magazine. I would be afraid of Howard Stern et al. accosting me to find out about my sexual past. Perhaps I’ll just mail it.
Judah Friedlander (most excellent in American Splendor) & Danny McDermott
Donnell Rawlings and Guest
Russ Meneve, Eric Kirchberger, Christian Finnegan & Todd Barry
Adam Spiegelman (writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live), Jim David, Demetri Martin & Christian Finnegan
Skipping the Stand Up NY party.
So The Clip Joint at the Knitting Factory sold out. Did you hear me? SOLD OUT! And not just all the seats were taken — even in the balcony — it was standing room only five people deep. FIVE PEOPLE DEEP! Seeds of Peace should be thrilled. I am. Can you tell?
Stacey & her husband had just flown in. I gave them a lightening speed tour of Rockefeller Center (excluding St. Patrick’s Cathedral — what was I thinking?!) before we grabbed a quick bite and rode the rails down to TriBeCa. I think they enjoyed the show. If they didn’t, they got in for free so they didn’t lose too much.
After the show, Christian & I went to the VH1 Best Week Ever holiday wrap party at Ava Lounge in the newly refurbished/renamed Dream Hotel. I had great fun chatting with Doug Benson, Rob Huebel, Fred Graver, Scott (stereogum.com) and, well, everyone. What a great time. Although, coming in late to an open bar party that has been underway for well over two hours means everyone aged 25 and under is pretty much shitfaced. Kim was literally leaning on people as she slurred and plodded through sentences. I wonder how she’s feeling today?
My favorite conversation was with Doug when he told me Googled himself and found this entry I had written. He had no recollection of this conversation (he is a marijuanalogger, after all), but he thought himself pretty clever. Agreed. I wonder if he’ll now Google himself to find this entry and not remember telling me about Googling himself and how long will this cycle go?
I wonder if Doug will remember telling me he will cast me in his next play?
“[Sob Stories] host Christian Finnegan must pack a lot of protein because he sure did carry a high level of energy. Christian’s effervescent personality was contagious, like herpes, but in a more positive way.” — So says Tara Koppel of NewYorkCool.com.
The December 7th edition of Sob Stories will include Lizz Winstead, the creator of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Rob Huebel , known as the “Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man” in the pre-movie commercial and a million other national commercial spots. He also happens to be an amazing story teller. Rob’s last time at Sob Stories, he dazzled the crowd with a true tale about how he, while working for a never debuted hidden camera show on a television network that shall remain nameless, almost snuck a German Michael Jackson impersonator out onto the Yankees pitching mound to throw out the first pitch during the World Series after 9/11. Scarily, security wasn’t so tight. They only caught on after they asked “Michael” a question and he wasn’t able to answer because he didn’t speak English.
This time around, the theme is holiday cheer. Here’s the promotional blurb that subscribers received along with this picture that ran in Time Out NY:
Going home for the holidays? Get a preview of the horrors that await you at this month’s Sob Stories, as comics recount tales of undercooked turkeys, humilating family reunions, lame presents and a host of other holiday disappointments.
356 Bowery (btwn Great Jones & E. 4th St)
$5.00 – NO drink minimum!
Come on down!
My Coolest Years premieres this weekend on VH1. Christian Finnegan will appear in the episodes Summer Vacation and First Time, premiering Sunday, December 5th at 12:30 PM and Saturday, December 11th at 10:00 PM, respectively. Click here for additional air dates/times.
OH MY GAWD!!!
I just spoke to Christian about what to photo shop over the Comedy Central logo in the below pic for our Christmas Cards…his suggestion: Baby Jesus.
He’s going to hell! And I guess so am I since I’m totally going to do it!
Here’s an even better Backstage article by Amelia David published in October when Sweet Paprika had their Premium Blend special. For some reason my news clipping service failed to pick that one up. Hmmm.
In Other News
The photo I took of Christian for Sob Stories ran in today’s Time Out NY. Also, Lindsayism.com got a Page Six mention today. She was kind enough to link the movie screening invitation yesterday. She already gets a gabazillion hits, but this timing is superb. Gawker plugged her plug which plugs her site which plugs the screening. The theater is sure to be packed now!
Thanks, Lindsay & Amelia!
Even though we have been dating for nearly two years, Christian met my mom for the first time yesterday evening when she arrived safely from Houston, Texas. He treated us to dinner at The Brick Cafe before we headed in to the City for a gig Christian had at The Slipper Room.
The show was going well enough though one British comedian did call my mom out (“there’s a deaf woman in the house”) when I had to sign to her in sign language what the comedian had just said. Then Christian was called to the stage as the final performer. He did a few minutes before segueing into a bit called “How is This My Fault?” in which he talks about traveling with me, his girlfriend.
“Speaking of my girlfriend, that deaf woman in the audience is her mother. She is in town visiting. She’s actually not totally deaf. She can hear if you YELL AT HER! In fact, Christy–that’s her name–why don’t you come to the stage?”
[Audience applauds and searches the room for “Christy”.]
My mom looks to me with excited, wide eyes and signs, “Does he really want me to go up there?!?!” Her look hints of uncertainty and slight fear that she will be made butt of some terrible joke.
I pull her out of her chair as I sign, “Yes, they’re waiting for you!”
[Christy gets on stage to wild applause. They engage in mild banter.]
“You’re here visting New York. Where are you from?”
[No applause, save for a tepid clap or two.]
“But you voted for John Kerry?” Christian asks.
“Oh yes I did,” Christy replies emphatically.
[Wild applause. Some hooting.]
“You and I have just spent about two hours together, what do you think of your daughter’s boyfriend so far?”
“I think he’s pretty cool.”
“Do you think your daughter and I have a future together?”
She skeptically replies, “Oh I don’t know about that!”
[Huge laughter from everyone but Christian. A few people turn to look at my horrified reaction.]
“Oh, really? Well, maybe you would like her to give you grandchildren?”
She glances my way with raised eyebrows, “Well, yes, but Kambri has always said her career comes first.”
“Well, we have a little surprise for you.”
[My mom’s eyes grow the size of silver dollars as she whips her head in my direction. Audience gasps, shocked & thrilled giggles & laughter fill the room.]
She simultaneously mouths and signs, “You’re pregnant?!”
Christian says, “Were. We aborted it.”
[My mom grabs her forehead in mock shock. Even more shocked & thrilled gasps and giggles fill the room.]
He continues, “On that happy note, why don’t go back and take your seat. Come on everyone, give a round of applause to my mother’s girlfriend!”
The “DJ”, comedian Craig Baldo, chimes in, “Whoops! Mother’s girlfriend?”
Christian responds with his trademark, “Paging Dr. Freud!”
After the show, the comics approached her to compliment her on her “performance”. She said, “I wish I had known he was going to do that, I would have prepared some funny answers!”
[What? Is she a comedian?]
“Oh, no, you did just fine.”
She was up at 7:00 in the morning (?!) on the phone with my stepdad telling him the whole story. Well, actually, she was trying to tell the story but had it all wrong and couldn’t remember most of the important details which meant she had to interrupt the conversation every two seconds to ask, “How did it go again?”
Last night’s Sob Stories was quite possibly the best one to date, performance-wise. Although it wasn’t standing room only (thanks, Vice Presidential Debates & Yankees playoffs), there was still a healthy crowd (thanks to the special mention in Metro, Time Out NY & Gawker) bearing witness to hilarious tales of penis numbing cream, attempted mercy fucking of an elderly man and an unsuccessful attempt at volunteering for a study on semen. Performance anxiety has never been that fun!
Next month’s installment will be on the 9th to avoid conflicting with the election. Mark your calendars now — you won’t want to miss it!
Back in New York and am happy to be home. I went to the final taping of The Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn. Christian’s friend, Chris Deluca, is a writer for the show and did a bit in the beginning where he choked on pastry and Craig gave him the heimlich. Then Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, Adam West, Marlee Matlin, Martin Mull and Nikki Zeiring did some stuff and then Christian’s other friend, Julius Sharpe (Goldy on the show) danced with Craig, et. al. and then it was over.
We chatted in the hallway with Chris & Julius awhile and turned down offers of free food & booze in the green room so we could wander the hallways of CBS’s various studios in “Television City”. We ventured down one floor and I cracked open the door — not locked?!?!?! — to find a giant glittery green price tag about the size of my apartment with the words The Price is Right emblazoned on its face.
Had I died? Because this is HEAVEN!
We were THISCLOSE to doing “it” on a giant red and white boat about the size of my apartment named the “S.S. Price”. And by “it”, I mean screwing. I’m not sure if Bob would have been angry or impressed to know that his ship had been christened (yeah, right, like no one else has), but we decided to pick up our stuff from security and dine on Mexican at El Compadre rather than “rock the boat” during our last night in LA. Live mariachi bands and refried beans vs. sex on oversized, sequined prop piece I’ve seen on television since the day I was born. Hmmm…not sure I made the right choice.
I forgot to tell you that I met Jay Maynard, aka “Tron“, in the Jimmy Kimmel Green Room. Although he lives in Minnesota now, he’s originally from Houston, Texas — hence his southern accent — and knew all about Montgomery, Texas, the tiny little town I called home during my youth.
Too tired to write proper.
More on the beloved Paquita who is in the loving arms of my friend Keith as I type this from Anguilla: She inspired Christian to write a joke which has been transformed into a cartoon on Comedy Central’s new show Shorties Watching Shorties. Although the dog they drew looks nothing like Paquita, I must say they did a great job animating his joke.
Paquita is going to have to start paying me for this publicity work!
Last night’s show was great. A rainy day after a major U.S. holiday couldn’t keep the crowd away. It was a packed house and great night of Sob Stories. Next month’s theme is “I Got Dumped” where you can hear about the sorrowful ways in which the featured guests were given the old heave-ho out of love.
Christian is cute, too!
(1) Don’t call it “fingerbang”; and
(2) Don’t ask a guy named “Jeeves”.
Christian got a job writing for Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. He has been employed there for nearly a week, but didn’t let the cat out of the bag until today so now I can properly promote his new assignment. His first piece is tentatively scheduled to air tomorrow night on Comedy Central. Check your LOCAL listings, folks.
Mom, “folks” means you.
Watch Christian as an investigative reporter on Smoking Gun TV premiering this Wednesday at 8:30 PM on Court TV as he uncovers the truth behind the Girls Gone Wild litigation. Encore performances are Friday and Sunday nights, so check your local listings. Since you’ll need cable television, go out and get you some and bring yourself forth into this century.
If you missed it, you can see Addicted for free on Wednesday the 17th at 8:00PM. Follow the instructions from the last offer listed below and enjoy the show.
Kambri Crews Promotions, hmmm, nice ring.
I’m rousing myself out of my funk by filling up my dance card. I find I’m happier when I’m busier and certainly do a fine job of putting on a happy face when I’m around others. I’m seeing 42nd Street tonight for free, courtesy of the producer. Thank you, Ms. Producer!
Tomorrow, Christian and I will do some free tourist-y thing like the Cloisters perhaps or a museum. We will definitely see a free movie or two courtesy of his Loews movie pass. Thank you City of New York and Loews!
Saturday I’ll stay in Astoria and watch Christian perform right there in my very own neighborhood. And guess what? The show is free and my drinks will be, too! Thank you, Albatross!
Paquita has a date with a neutered terrier named Sam on Sunday. They’re going to the free Doggie Street Fair at Saks Fifth Avenue which I learned about in yesterday’s Liz Smith column. Since the proceeds benefit the ASPCA, I don’t feel too badly about shutting down a portion of 5th Avenue to browse doggy couture and sniff doggy butt. After the street fair, they’ll enjoy a long walk in Central Park and perhaps indulge in a little pigeon chasing and fruitless humping. I’d say that’s a nice first date, wouldn’t you? It’s all free, too. Thank you, Saks and the City of New York!
I’m taking all the money I would have spent on going out and buying myself a stick of gum and a peppermint from that deli.
Better Mood Through Cheap Living
Boy, it’s great to be home! We had a terrific last two days for several reasons: a light agenda,Christian got to headline the last show (Richard must be atoning for Yom Kippur), bonus spending money, free movie passes to see School of Rock (simply darling and genuinely amusing) and, most importantly, each other’s company. Gross, huh? Ah, what can I say for myself? It’s true.
At one point, we were gazing so cheesily into each other’s eyes, the Emcee for the weekend interrupted us by demanding, “Get a room!” The thing is, we weren’t groping or tonguing each other or anything else grotesquely physical; we were being intimate. Christian observed that intimacy is more uncomfortable for others than just flat out public grope sessions and that the Emcee should have said, “Get a candlelight dinner!” Which we did. We used the extra cash to treat ourselves to a deliciously private and tasty steak dinner last night, full of long gazes, teary toasts and, yes, even a kiss or eight or thirty.
We said goodbye to our free stay at the Strand this morning. I woke up feeling a little blue about having to leave but excited to see Paquita again and have places like Rite Aid and the liquor store all within spitting distance. On the way home, our cabbie was on time, our flight arrived in New York 15 minutes early and even though they required passengers to remain seated due to a medical emergency in the back, they let my and Christian’s row de-plane anyway so I had time to get Paquita to take her with me to the bank before it closed. I love New York and its efficiency at handling the flow of people. That inadequacy of Florida is what frustrated us for our first day or two there — we need a vacation!
— Now that I’m back in civilization, I’ve added photos to the past links.
Another terrific performance by Christian rounded out a day full of intense highs and lows. This place, West Palm Beach, is clearly not meant for tourists. There are no sidewalks, not a single drugstore and the cab service wouldn’t pick us up without knowing the exact name of the building we were at even though we told them we were at the beach and gave them an intersection and physical address of the nearest building. The worst part, though, is the exorbitant amount of construction. They are building anything and everything from scratch here. You know, because the natural landscape isn’t pretty enough.
We frolicked in the waves and I bronzed my skin while Christian turned a bright pink. Later at the Improv, I snapped a few photos of Christian on stage. When he viewed the results he remarked, “I look like I’m doing comedy on Mars.” The lights were red, his shirt was a burnt orange and his face matched them perfectly. The red planet was never this fun.
It wasn’t all frustrating and fruitless, though.The views are stunning, the sounds of the ocean are so calming and the shoes here are cheap! This library from where I type overlooks the Intercoastal and is surrounded by palm trees and fountains and bright cheery colors. It beats my local library by a long shot, unless you prefer piss smelling books, cramped spaces and tattered books that are outdated and useless. Well, I’d love to keep a travel log, but this isn’t very exciting and my bed awaits. Bye!
Well, after a pleasant and easy flight from LaGuardia on Delta Song, we arrived in sunny and warm Florida. There was much to do about nothing trying to get us into the proper condo, but we finally got settled in to our spacious two bedroom, two bath condominium complete with a dining room, huge kitchen, cable television and a balcony. We’re even high enough for me to push Christian off the edge if he gets out of line.
The place is great and so close to everything. We asked a guy where the nearest grocery store was, letting him know we didn’t have a car and he gave us directions saying, “But it’s pretty far.” We said our thanks and not to worry about the distance. Turns out, it was about as far as the R stop from my apartment door. Far? You call that far?
We ate lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, one of several chain restaurants we have to choose from, and I warned Christian to not order anything but an entree as their portions were obscenely large. He took my advice and we both ordered sandwiches. These things could feed a horse and horses don’t know when they’re full. We both finished just one half of our portions and got the rest to go. Who eats that much food? No wonder this country is a mess. We drive to the grocery store that’s around the corner after we’ve eaten about eight pounds of cheese and bread.
I brought my Pilates DVD so I wouldn’t get out of the routine and actually DID Pilates before going to Christian’s first of six shows at the Improv where he’s featuring for Richard Lewis and headlining on Saturday night. Knock on wood, I’ve never seen Christian eat it on stage and he didn’t fail last night. He kept the audience in a steady rolling laughter including a bit of sexual bantering with a 60-some-odd-year-old lady and some war of the words with a guy who was very excited to see Richard Lewis — who, in my opinion, wasn’t really trying very hard because the audience was pretty sparse for his standards. I guess when you’ve been doing comedy successfully for 34 years, performing for anything less than 300 people is a drag. But tonight should be a packed house, and I fully expect Christian to do well again and Richard to bring it tonight.
Okay enough comedy reviews, I’ve got free slushies to drink, a pool to lie near, and a boy who has called me “beautiful” about 58 times since we left New York. Hey, if this is what clean air does to his senses, I’m going on vacation with him as often as possible!
Okay, so maybe it is not I who is Very Important, but I was with a Premium Blend alumnus which allowed me V.I.P. access to Comedy Central’s taping of the next season of P.B. The host was D.L. (Peeeee) Hughley. (get it, peee-hughley?) A bad, bad choice in hosts. He speaks as though his cheeks are chubby on the inside. There’s just too much interfering with normal speech patterns. His set during the taping of the first episode was pretty good, but when it came to reading from the teleprompter to introduce a comic he fizzled. Bad host, bad, bad.
My only other complaint was the lull in between episodes. While we waited for the band and host to change clothes, the warm-up “comic” led us with a little game of playing matchmaker. A woman in the audience would stand up, Warm Up Comic would ask a few basic questions (name, age, etc.), would hint at making a joke but would fall short, and then solicit a man to volunteer to meet her after the show. It might as well have been a horse auction. “Look at this little filly right here, boy I’d like to ride her bare back! Going once, going twice . . . YES, YOU! Meet her after the show! All right, next single woman . . .”
It was all very misogynistic and did absolutely nothing to keep the audience engaged (which is, you know, the point) as it went on way too long after the novelty of it wore off. If that’s the route they wanted to go, they should have had a guy like Ron Poole who is aces at audience interaction. He could have turned that 20 minutes into a show in and of itself.
Luckily the stand-up talent rose above D.L. Hughley’s marbles-in-his-mouth speech impediment and the Warm Up Comic’s sh*ting on the audience energy. . . there really wasn’t a dud act to be found. More importantly, Julius Sharpe did well, much to my, Christian, Eric, Jay and Bob‘s delight. His was a job well done, and I recommend you set your TiVo now.
Catch Christian on Chappelle’s Show tonight on Comedy Central. It’s Mix Tape Vol. 2 which is a mix of the best sketches from the first season and Christian’s turn as Chadin “The Mad Real World” should be included as it was balls out funnier than anything I’ve ever seen.
He’s in Montreal this very moment pretending to be single on a show called “Dating It” during which he’ll go on a speed date with someone and then engage in some other crazy “antics” which, during the NY show last April, included him vigorously* making out with his date.
Meanwhile, I’m busy plucking random hairs by their roots in an effort to gain a sense of control. I hope he’ll still love me when I’m bald**, unless, of course, he elopes with his speed date in an effort to gain dual citizenship. Why wouldn’t he? I hear poutine is delicious.
*Word choice of Colette Hawley, extremely hilariousand chic host of Dating It.
** No, I don’t suffer from trichotillomania. It’s the poor girl’s Brazilian wax!