>I’m exhausted!

>I won’t waste your time talking about the flight from Puerto Rico filled with everything stereotypical. Instead, I’ll just say that I had a wonderfully relaxing and fun-filled trip. Our purpose for traveling to Anguilla, as opposed to any other location, was for a friend’s wedding. I also won’t bore you with the simply exquisite photos of the beachside dinner, the stuffed suckling pig or the party photos. Instead I’ll just show you what washed ashore and laid eggs at the wedding reception:

To steal someone’s line: “That’s a fertility sign if ever there was one!” Needless to say, the bride refused to consummate their marriage that night. I would suggest that they spent it honoring Ronald Reagan, but they are adament Democrats. It took her seeing eggs shooting out of a giant tortois vagina to seal her decision of wedding-night chastity. For me it would have been the warning: “Alcohol consumption during pregnancy may cause birth defects.” Because really, who wants to raise a defect, and what goes better with tortois eggs than a nice chianti?

—Kambri

Okay oenophiles, Chianti probably isn’t right but it sounds better, dontcha think?