>Private Dick

>Tons of friends old and older are coming out to the Houston Laff Stop this weekend to hang out to see Christian headline, and I truly only have fun planned. And perhaps a light hearted interrogation in a prison yard. You know, your typical family vacay.

I’ve been wearing my private dick hat (very loosely, mind you) and have found a few things regarding possible murder and mayhem by My Jailed Deaf Dad. Thank you to everyone who gave awesome and most useful ideas, many of which have actually led to other things. But I still need to gather some basic info from the “perp” (heh) that will help in the investigation.

I always wanted to be a PI. So much so that my brother and I even (briefly) talked of going into business as such and I actually “stalked” a couple of people (more in the paper sense of the word) to hone my “skills”. I was collecting on multi-million commercial dollar loans and in a toxic personal relationship at the time and kind of got addicted to just how much time I could spend to find out about someone and how to turn that obsession into a $$$ making business. Always the entrepreneur, I guess, but ultimately it’s a lot of time spent alone.

The scenario below might actually be real and it’s making me DIZZY with the possibilities. Unfortunately the internet hasn’t fully caught up with us, but I know all about microfiche and hours at the library. I’m not afraid! Hear me, potential falsely convicted person murder case?

I’ll let you know what Dad has to say about the Donna, her dead bartender and the like. I expect a tall, “I once caught a fish this big” kind of story. It’s the same kind he’s told me about how he didn’t try to kill my mom. (He was only arguing with her because she was letting the 16 yr old me have a man {my future husband} sleep over. I guess when he was telling me this big fish version he forgot that I WAS THERE and was the one who called 911! First rule of lying: Don’t lie. Second rule of lying: If you do lie, don’t lie to the person who was there in the fu*king room!) Or like how he didn’t try to kill his 3rd wife “G” she was actually trying to kill herself. Never mind that the cops stone cold busted his ass straddled on top of her while he was stabbing her. Doh! Third rule of lying: Don’t try to kill people in front of the police.

So don’t hold your breath that any truth will come of it — maybe just some leads. I’m going to ask him a crap load of other questions so rather than smuggle in a What-A-Burger, I might aim for a pencil and paper to take notes.

—Kambri
It’s freaking hot as balls out anyway, where the hell am I going to stuff a sizzling cheeseburger?