>Weekend Update

>Mr. 3000 (don’t ask) deserves the biggest, fattest thumbs down ever in the history of downard thumbing. Bernie Mac is charming as hell, but my lord! The most entertaining thing about wasting two hours of my life was eating a Quizno’s sub whilst two Euro-trash guys behind me laughed at every minor thing…literally.

We picked up our Gawker Stalked pottery today. I painted my butter dish to replicate a taxi cab and it worked. It’s ugly, expensive and I wouldn’t eat off it. Okay, the last part isn’t true. I will eat butter off it the next time I have cause to eat in my apartment which will be in about 10 to 20 years (I love NY.) . . . right around the time my dad gets out of jail.

While there, I painted Christian a jar to collect the mountains of loose coins he has in his apartment and he painted me a tri-section dish for that dinner I’ll need to prepare once my dad is sprung from the clink. His change jar is going to rock. I opted against painting a phrase simply because I was sure the words wouldn’t fit or it would look like crapola. But it was fun trying to come up with something clever:

Change is inevitable.

Change is good.

Sex change operation fund.

There were more, but I’ll spare you. I took pics using a disposable camera I bought when my digital was on the fritz. I can’t believe there was ever a time when I used regular cameras and had to wait for photos. How Amish. Afterwards we went to see another free movie courtesy of Loew’s. Christian’s movie pass is about to expire. Eek! Don’t tell Christian, but free movies for over a year has been the best thing about dating him. Well, that, and his monstrous cock.

Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow was a nice pit stop. It’s by no means a classic that will spawn one too many sequels but it was visually stunning and a smart story. Gwyneth Paltrow had disappointing energy but, again, visually perfect for the stylized element they were shooting for.

I got a free IPod some months ago and finally hooked it up. It is now loaded with Stevie Wonder Innervisions & Songs in the Key of Life , White Zombies La Sexorcisto, Los Lonely Boys‘ self-titled album & The Best of Sheryl Crow.

—Kambri

That’ll be enough to last me awhile.