>What Did We Do Before Cell Phones?

>This guy, who tried nailing himself to a cross, would be dead, and that would be sad, wouldn’t it? Wouldn’t it?!

If you don’t want to read the whole article, take away this little snippet:

“When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911,” Boucher said.

It was unclear whether the man was seeking assistance for his injury or help in nailing down his other hand.

—Kambri
I got nothing.