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Shania, Shania, Shania; tsk, tsk, tsk.

Who the hell was responsible for that Super Bowl halftime show? And just what year is this anyway? Commercials referenced Cast Away (2000) and Willie Nelson’s tax woes (settled in 1993), and performances included No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” (1996), Shania Twain’s “I Feel Like a Woman” (1999) and Sting’s “Message in a Bottle” (1979). I won’t even go into how ridiculous Shania Twain’s outfit was or how awful Gwen Stefani sounded during her duet with Sting. Oh, and why is Celine Deon singing God Bless America? Maybe she meant God Bless North America? And Shania Twain? Singing “I Feel Like a Woman”? At the Super Bowl? What the hell is that? I wanted to puke all the dip and chips I devoured. Give me some heavy metal, man! Especially during a Super Bowl that includes two teams with pirate themes!

But, the Super Bowl isn’t about the show, right? As Nipsey Russell would say, “Riiiigggghhhhht.”

I love a good, gritty football game accompanied with various friends, beverages and snack foods, but I don’t recall ever watching a really fun and exciting Super Bowl. The days of Jack Tatum aka “Assassin” are over I guess. Is it anti-climactic or what? I do enjoy the commercials, but should they really be the highlight rather than the game itself? Maybe it’s because I don’t care enough about the particular teams. Since moving from Cleveland, I haven’t followed football as closely. Frankly, I lost interest after Art Modell shafted what were arguably the best fans in football and moved the Browns to Baltimore. What else to Clevelanders have to do in the stark cold days of winter besides watch football and defrost their extremities? Take away their football team and you might as well deprive them of oxygen (the element, not the cable channel).

Final tally of the night: I lost $13, gained five pounds and was left wondering why I bother.