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I received a summons for jury duty. Oh, please God, let me get picked. I need that extra $40 per day. Please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

What is it about hot weather that makes men so sexually agressive? They’re animals at times. Oh, I forgot to mention: it’s h-o-t hot. Not that everyone in New York hasn’t been talking about the weather. In other news, I grew a set of balls but then promptly sweat them off. A strange, wondrous gift and swift disappointment. I fear the inevitable phantom pain.