I have teensy weensy itty bitty vestigial cajones. That’s what it boils down to. What is one to do with such useless appendages? Hey, I know! Who wants some teensy weensy itty bitty rocky mountain oysters? —Kambri connoisseur de boules
I don’t get why other people can see great things in me and yet I can’t. My personality mirror must be broken. My own positive self image is a vampire to me. I can’t see the reflection despite everyone seeing its existence. What’s worse than not seeing the good in yourself? Knowing what you want, … More Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Greg & I went to Prohibition the other night. It was a nice place but became extremely packed as the night wore on. Greg shamelessly outed himself as an elder in the group when he remarked, “This can’t meet the fire code.” We left before midnight and had to fight our way through the crowd. … More Prohibition
The main drags here in Astoria are in utter mayhem right now. Rather than kids going from apartment building to apartment building, they visit the local delis and such. This one deli was overrun with a throng of kids waiting for their one piece of peppermint. Yep. One little piece of peppermint and they were … More Happy Halloween
Two extremely drunk and happy homeless men were having a grand old time sitting on milk crates and teasing all the passers by. I tried to sneak past unnoticed without success. They remarked on how lovely I am (need I clarify those are my words, not theirs) before they moved on to the next person. … More 10/28/2003
I have very important and shocking news for you: Spam is out of control! Apparently the mass majority of the human race is in dire need of Vicodin and penis enlargement. Why do so many men need this and why would they trust a spam email as their #1 source of information rather than, say, … More 10/27/2003
This digitally animated alternative music show was so cool. Just don’t go there drunk. Have you ever felt so drunk that you had to put one foot on the ground to make your room/bed stop spinning? Well, that’s how I felt through some portions. It’s so wild to think you can get motion sickness sitting … More 10/26/2003
My usual dry cleaners is closed for vacation, so I called Christian for another suggestion. That was silly. There are like 1,063 in a two block radius. I found a very clean, new-looking French cleaners directly across from Key Food. I dropped off two sweaters and two shirts and figured I’d stop in Key Food … More Wee. I’m at home today! Wee!
Jack’s China trip is proving exciting and worthwile for him. He called me twice over the weekend to let me know he lost his insulin pen and needed backup fast among other demands. Why he was calling me at 3:00 in the morning is beyond me. He’s at a five star hotel, the concierge gets … More Jack in China
Boy, that Cinderella story just keeps getting told over and over and over again. I just watched Maid in Manhattan (yes, I know, I know) and it was the same story verbatim, complete with two stepsister-like characters and all the little forest animals in the form of co-workers that helped put Cinderella together for the … More Cinderella Redux
Kambri Crews 