Seven years ago, I was hanging out with a “B” as in “boy” -illionaire till the wee hours of the morning. At one point he grabbed my hand and deliciously whispered into my ear, “Kambri, when you live in my world, you can do anything you want.” Indeed, in his world, you can. At the … More Seven Years Ago
I spent the morning of my 38th birthday perched on my fire escape like I was in the balcony of a theater. Not quite 5:00 AM, the sun was making its rise to my right. The Chrysler and Empire State Buildings were still shadows to my left. Their lights were out and the sun was … More Birthday Wishes & Caviar Dreams
I went to wish someone a happy birthday on Facebook and saw his status that said my grandma is on her death bed. Oh. Wow. I didn’t know. I didn’t leave a note. What was I going to say? “Yay, happy birthday, my grandma will soon be dead but, hey, you made it another year. … More The Internet Sucks Sometimes
“Be honest, Kambri,” Donna said dripping with accusation in a morphed New York, London, Virgin Islands accent. “Whattuv yew bin doin’?” “What are you asking? Have I been lifting weights? Noooooo, of course not.” “Kambri….whattuv yew bin doin’?” “I live on the 4th floor of a walk up and the subway is two blocks away. … More TMI Vol. 8, Issue 2
Now that I’ve gotten the all clear from my doctor, I feel like I can unload what’s been occupying my every thought, every hour, every minute, every second of every day: I had some cancer scooped out of my scalp. Basically, I had a half dollar-sized birthmark on my scalp that went haywire and required … More Psst! Hey Kid, Wanna See My Scar?
Moving in to your horse’s barn because your trailer got repossessed is what some folks might call a low point. It was time for a drastic change, so my parents moved us to the big city of N. Richland Hills, TX. It was there — when I was 16 — I met a 22 year … More A Petty Officer and a Gentleman
I sent an old friend from Montgomery, TX my yearbooks from our 6th, 7th, and 8th grade years and she mailed me her senior year yearbook. I knew some of the students since I was seven years old. If we hadn’t moved to Ft. Worth before my 10th grade year, I would have graduated with … More Memories from My Old Country Home
If a deaf schizophrenic still hears voices. If anyone else kept the shoes they walked home in on 9/11. Or the shoes they walked in for Blackout of ’04. Why it took my passport only 1.5 weeks to arrive. Aren’t we in post-9/11? A white girl from TX isn’t scary as all git out?How I … More I Wonder
The Comix questions have subsided, though, I did end up going in on Friday after a day full of errands. I dropped off my holiday cards for my assistant to stamp and mail, took care of Greg Fitzsimmons’ and Patrice Oneal’s press itineraries, and answered some pressing emails. I got my passport renewed and dropped … More Sabbatical Update, Part II
Holiday cards are done. I’m still stuck answering Comix questions and taking care of press for upcoming comedians, but I hope that doesn’t continue. Laptop is being taken in tomorrow for general cleaning and repair. I was able to take care of lots of the glitches and annoyances once I devoted an hour or two … More Sabbatical Update
Kambri Crews 