That’s me. I have no idea why. I started out the day just fine and then, I don’t know, maybe it was the chilly temperature in mid-May, or perhaps the constant drizzle that is not thwarted by an umbrella because it is everywhere the wind takes it. Or, it could have been the throngs of … More Cuh-ranky
Me quoting an article about him: “How is the ‘gregarious, warm-hearted, dynamic’ Jack this morning?” Jack: “What’s up with you? Did you get laid last night?” I guess even Jack doesn’t recognize himself in that article. So much for truth in journalism. She Wants Me, Right Now She Wants Me Mary Stuart Masterson was totally … More Jayson Blair is the Tip of the Iceberg
I do not exaggerate when I say it is horrifying to learn that you have been caught dancing — and I mean freak dancing complete with the white man’s overbite and finger snapping — in your underwear singing Stevie Wonder’s I Wish at the top of your lungs. I know this because after I had … More Horrifying
Hey, Kambri, where were you when the President declared the end of the war in Iraq? Why, Yankee Stadium with Christian Finnegan, of course! In my typical way, I got *free* tickets to the game and quickly called Christian to tell him, “No, we won’t be watching a movie after all. No, we won’t be … More We Interrupt This Program…
Gap Jeans make my ass look “Pa-Dunk-a-Dunk” according to the two African American men trailing closely behind me for two blocks. What exactly is “Pa-Dunk-a-Dunk” and is it a good thing? Please say “yes”. For the love of God and my future well-being please say “yes”! Just don’t tell me it means in urban speak, … More May 1, 2003
On the way to lunch Jack asked, “Do you need a jacket, or, say, a bra?” Yes, Spring has arrived and the folks here in Rockefeller Center think that it needs to be –30 degrees in the office so we worker bees don’t nod off at our desks after a big lunch. My nipples (Eek! … More Apr 29, 2003
Watching the opening sequence to Mr. Personality makes me want to shove splinters under my nails. Quotes such as “This is a life long decision” and “I’m going to meet the love of my life” make me want to shove splinters into that chick’s urethra while I wear a creepy mask. Now that would be … More Oh, Puh-leeze!
Last night I scored a ticket to an open bar fundraiser for a gay and lesbian charity. Wall-to-wall men and not a one of them looking at me twice. No lesbians to flirt with either. I threatened to wear a strap-on and start randomly poking people for attention. At the bar, I whipped out my … More Apr 26, 2003
I’m on a junk food kick as of late since I can’t seem to stop losing weight. Yes, I realize this makes some of you hate me. No, I don’t care. So, I’m in a long line at a very busy Ranch 1 waiting patiently. Finally, I have only one customer between me and the … More Apr 24, 2003
So for lunch, I stepped outside to have a private conversation on my cell phone, because where else can I have a private chat in New York City but right out on the sidewalk where no one cares what I have to say as long as I stay out of the way? So I was … More Apr 23, 2003
Kambri Crews 