So I came up with clever idea to do a live reading of a relatively new and up and coming comedy magazine including multi-media visuals and such. The idea was so great, they’re going to do it! Yeah! Without me. Boo! Yep, they took my idea and ran with it. Literally. Now, forseeably, we (Tex … More I’ve Been Robbed!
Jack: My pharmasict won’t give me anymore Viagra till next week. Not that I need it or anything; it’s more like a toy. I feel like I’m twelve years old again getting blow jobs at the Lincoln Tunnel. I can’t get a blow job from my wife to save my life. So I cut the … More Gospel of Jack 9:25
Mike: He’s your typical smart, arrogant, smug guy. Jack: I can’t stand people like that. I mean really, they think they know everything, they’re high maintenance; I’m glad I don’t know anyone like that. Jack: Harvey is the luckiest man alive. His wife got kicked by a horse and died.
I enjoyed a free $50 lunch of herb encrusted skate, greens and water seated next to the former Duchess of York. To Jack, apparently, I am worth as much as ex-royalty. I actually complained during lunch that despite the prime locale of the Sea Grill, it is surprisingly lacking “movers” and “shakers”. Ms. Ferguson, quite … More 9.23.2003
Wow. There’s nothing like (a) seeing two acquaintances on stage accepting their second Emmy, (b) another two acquaintances giving birth to a new female human and (c) an old friend on a national television spot ALL IN ONE DAY to make me feel like (a) I have no goals, (b) no purpose and (c) no … More I’m a Loser, Baby, So Why Don’t You Kill Me?
Walking to the subway Tuesday night, I nearly lost it. I witnessed a young girl throw a full can of soda on the ground as though my world is her trash can. An empty can is bad enough, but she threw this completely full can down with force and caused a huge spray of liquid … More Buddy When You’re Messing with Queens, You’re Messing With Me!
Gene Rayburn: The electrician examined the 6 Million Dollar Man’s nether regions and said , “I’m sorry to report he’s ____.” Richard Dawson: AC / DC — He goes both ways. I love that it was the early 70s and stuff like this made it past the censors. (My answer, short circuited, garnered me two … More New Favorite Match Game Quote
Blue Collar Guy to a different yet similar Blue Collar Guy, “My woman don’t care about money. Sheeee-it, she give me money.” News flash: “Your woman” cares about money. After all, it is what makes the world go ’round. She just also might happen to care about you and your broke, sorry speaking ass.
There is something strange in the air. I don’t know what it is, but a tension is resting under the surface like a tender, ripe zit. In the last week, I have witnessed three very intense arguments spill out to the sidewalks of New York; arguments so feral that I felt the need to get … More 9.10.2003
Let me state a phrase: “Sex and the City”. Okay, study those words. Do you see the words tenderness or touching or sensitive or sad mixed in that title? NO! So, why on Sunday night did I find myself moved (albeit temporarily) during Sex and the City? I do, however, see the words “sex” and … More 9.9.2003
Kambri Crews 