I left work early yesterday with a couple of co-workers and went to the NYPD’s Firing Range in the Bronx for a special presentation for Foundation benefactors. The event was complete with the Mounted and K-9 Units, bomb squad demonstrations, beer, wine, burgers, hot dogs, lobster and so much more. I met the head of … More Boys, Bullets and Booze
“A 30-year-old man was beaten and stabbed yesterday after he exposed himself to a one-armed hooker on a Harlem street…(He) opened up his pants. The woman screamed, prompting a group of seven people standing nearby to chase the man…The group caught up with him at a (subway) turnstile, brutally beat him and stabbed him with … More This blurb was in today’s NY Post:
I swear I was talking about wanting to look like Angie Dickinson during tomorrow’s excursion; and, lo and behold, guess whose picture was in the NY Post today? That’s right, Angie Dickinson. Doesn’t that just freak you out? Seriously, when was the last time anybody mentioned her, let alone put her picture in the paper?! … More 6.18.2003
I just walked home after the longest day with the most tense, aching muscles. My high heels clicked quickly on the hot, sticky pavement taking me further away from the neighborhood maniac yelling sexually explicit threats to my back. “Almost there; just walk faster,” I thought. Suddenly, the sweet aroma of a big, beautiful, blossoming … More Honeysuckle on This!
The movie, Winged Migration, tracks several flocks of birds in their journeys around the world. Some birds fly thousands of miles, reach their destination, have intercourse and immediately turn around and fly back from whence they came. Which reminds me . . . my trip to DC was a blast, but it’s great to be … More Winged Migration
As one would expect, my deaf hippie parents had an eclectic bunch of friends. One such friend was a cartoonist specializing in caricatures. One afternoon he drew Risa and her coke bottle bottom glasses. Then Butch with his oversized smile. Then my older brother with his bowl haircut. We oohhed and ahhhed as each sketch … More Snoopy Was in On It, Too
Rain, Rain Go Away……never fu*king come back again! Seriously, remember the drought of 2002? Well, apparently, droughts are out of style this year here in New York. Oh, sure, leg warmers made a comeback, but nothing like rain. Rain is where it’s at. Go get you some. Don’t have any rain there in ____lands Mall? … More 6.4.2003
Before the start of last night’s movie, they played a commercial for Cover Girl’s Outlast All-Day Lipcolor. The ad’s storyline followed that of “Cinderella”. Dressed in pink and wearing matching Pearl Shade lipcolor, Cinderella was envied by the other ball attendees, because even after ten hours and despite having kissed the bachelor of every girl’s … More Truth in Advertising
When a woman gets breast implants, her tits become novelty items. She takes them to parties and whips them out like they’re the Deluxe Edition of Yahtzee. As a partygoer you want to partake in the game playing by poking them and squeezing them and thumping them like melons at a fruit stand because they’re … More Silly Putty Tits
This morning I woke up because it was quiet. I’m talking the morning after the Night of the Comet quiet. No rain, no wind, no babies crying or dog barking in the distance, no cars whizzing past, no cabbies honking and no gang of teenagers speaking Spanish outside my bedroom window. Nothing. The countryside isn’t … More May 26, 2003
Kambri Crews 