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Def Poetry Jam

I saw Russell Simmon’s Def Comedy Jam for the first time over the weekend. It grabbed my attention because this guy of indiscernable mixed race was beating his rap about the plight of women, how men are the root of all evil, he doesn’t call women “sluts, whores or bitches” because men are to blame for everything — apparently even a woman’s behavior. Upon finishing his “poetry”, the camera cuts to a close-up of two women in the audience cheering feverishly, then cut back to him with a sheepish grin. My first thought, “That dude is totally getting laid tonight.” His thought, “Score!”

NY Post Items
— The NY Post gave a detailed report of what Martha Stewart’s jail time might be like. Apparently evenings after 5:00 PM are hers to enjoy. “…[She] can…take an arts-and-crafts class…” Can you imagine? Not funny, just a “What?” kind of moment for me this morning. I wonder if she would take the class and, if so, would she learn anything.

— What’s the deal with all the DWI crashes in NYC lately? Why are people driving at all let alone driving drunk. Selfish morons deserve any injury they get. Unfortunately, they usually leave a wake of damage to many others. Take a cab or the subway, assholes!

— This tidbit is just bizarre:

An Iranian man who lost his keys 16 years ago finally found them — embedded in his leg.

The bizarre discovery came after the 50-year-old man felt a pain in his leg and X-rays revealed the keys inside. The man told doctors he’d shot himself accidentally 16 years ago, but had no idea how the keys fell into the wound. Bill Hoffmann, Wire Services

There ya go!  I just saved you $0.25 in precious U.S. currency.  Get yourself a piece of gum or something.

Bored at work.