General Observation

Humans, in general, have to compensate for their shortcomings. If you are going to be mindblowlingly stupid, you simply shouldn’t be rude. No one will help you. People will avoid you. If you’re butt ugly or incredibly “quirky” looking, you probably have to be extra talented and funny to boot. If you’re smart as a … More General Observation

Gospel of Jack 2:13

Jack to the staff of Shelly’s: “I hope you all get what you deserve for Valentine’s Day.” Hostess: “Why thank you, we will.” Jack: “Good, then I’ll see you at the clinic on Monday.” —Kambri I’m expecting a raise.

Gospel of Jack 2:10

Over lunch at Mr. K’s, Jack enlightened me on some acronyms I may not have been familiar with: Jack: NFW = “No fu*king way!” AWFKM = “Are you fu*king kidding me?” Me: That’s AYFKM. Jack: Yeah, well, we’re in a Chinese restaurant. —Kambri MLYLT – SSFD

Ask Jeeves

Someone found Christian’s site by asking Jeeves “how to fingerbang”. If this person legitimately wants to learn such a technique, I have two answers for him/her: (1) Don’t call it “fingerbang”; and (2) Don’t ask a guy named “Jeeves”. —Kambri Jeeves may, however, know the definition of “rusty trombone“.

Wish Him Luck

Christian got a job writing for Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. He has been employed there for nearly a week, but didn’t let the cat out of the bag until today so now I can properly promote his new assignment. His first piece is tentatively scheduled to air tomorrow night on Comedy Central. Check your … More Wish Him Luck