Humans, in general, have to compensate for their shortcomings. If you are going to be mindblowlingly stupid, you simply shouldn’t be rude. No one will help you. People will avoid you. If you’re butt ugly or incredibly “quirky” looking, you probably have to be extra talented and funny to boot. If you’re smart as a … More General Observation
http://www.ballyhoopromotions.net —Kambri Hire me because I’m good. Pay me because I’m broke.
Jack to the staff of Shelly’s: “I hope you all get what you deserve for Valentine’s Day.” Hostess: “Why thank you, we will.” Jack: “Good, then I’ll see you at the clinic on Monday.” —Kambri I’m expecting a raise.
A fu*king fake doll in a fake life with a fake townhouse and fake career can’t make her fake love last. Yes, I’m talking about Barbie. News hit the AP wire that she and Ken split. What kind of BS PR move is that? Two days before Valentine’s Day? What jackasses. Why not ruin the … More If They Can’t Make It . . .
Over lunch at Mr. K’s, Jack enlightened me on some acronyms I may not have been familiar with: Jack: NFW = “No fu*king way!” AWFKM = “Are you fu*king kidding me?” Me: That’s AYFKM. Jack: Yeah, well, we’re in a Chinese restaurant. —Kambri MLYLT – SSFD
First, happy birthday to Bob. Long time, no see. My dad’s birthday fast approaches. Let me tell you, there simply are not enough cards for fathers in jail. I settled on one that said something about how a dad’s love means so much to little girls and big girls, too. That seemed innocuous enough. I … More Birthday Wishes and Caviar Dreams
Jack: “Look what my wife insisted I wear tonight.” Stuck on his crotch a sticker reads: “Useless if stolen.” —Kambri And it’s useful when?
Someone found Christian’s site by asking Jeeves “how to fingerbang”. If this person legitimately wants to learn such a technique, I have two answers for him/her: (1) Don’t call it “fingerbang”; and (2) Don’t ask a guy named “Jeeves”. —Kambri Jeeves may, however, know the definition of “rusty trombone“.
No, he didn’t. He saw a bunch of jackasses with expensive cameras whooping and hollering. —Kambri I predict Spring will arrive on March 20th.
Christian got a job writing for Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. He has been employed there for nearly a week, but didn’t let the cat out of the bag until today so now I can properly promote his new assignment. His first piece is tentatively scheduled to air tomorrow night on Comedy Central. Check your … More Wish Him Luck
Kambri Crews 