While in Florida, Scott and Brian stayed at my place to babysit my menagerie of Phish, Larry Bird and Paquita. Before leaving, I took great pains to hide my *ahem* Valuables. I wouldn’t risk passing them through an x-ray machine at airport security (“Ma’am, please empty the contents of your bag”) and Christian was not willing to be a Page Six snippet and wouldn’t carry them on my behalf. So, I stashed them as best I could.<\/p>\n

I’ve known Scott since I was 15 years old; there is little, if anything, in my drawers life that could shock him. I still, however, found myself compelled to bury my Valuables out of sight. “As long as I survive four more days, my secret is safe,” I thought. There are a few things wrong with that scenario:<\/p>\n

\u2022 I have never kept my Valuables a secret.
\n\u2022 I’ve talked about my Valuables with Scott at length.
\n\u2022 If I don’t survive the trip, the cat is out of the bag.<\/p>\n

My logic is, as long as you can’t picture them, they don’t exist. Plus, I don’t want Scott using them.<\/p>\n

I left Scott with a clogged tub and no food in the fridge. I returned to a sparkling, clog-free porcelain tub and more food than I’ve had since . . . umm . . . well . . . never. He even left a bottle of wine. Surely this was a mistake. Didn’t he mean to take it? I can’t believe I was so selfish. Next time, he can have my Valuables. I’ll just buy new ones.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While in Florida, Scott and Brian stayed at my place to babysit my menagerie of Phish, Larry Bird and Paquita. Before leaving, I took great pains to hide my *ahem* Valuables. I wouldn’t risk passing them through an x-ray machine at airport security (“Ma’am, please empty the contents of your bag”) and Christian was not willing to be a Page Six snippet and wouldn’t carry them on my behalf. So, I stashed them as best I could. I’ve known Scott since I was 15 years old; there is little, if anything, in my drawers life that could shock him. I still, however, found myself compelled to bury my Valuables out of sight. “As long as I survive four more days, my secret is safe,” I thought. There are a few things wrong with that scenario: \u2022 I have never kept my Valuables a secret. \u2022 I’ve talked about my Valuables with Scott at length. \u2022 If I don’t survive the trip, the cat is out of the bag. My logic is, as long as you can’t picture them, they don’t exist. Plus, I don’t want Scott using them. I left Scott with a clogged tub and no food in the fridge. I returned to a sparkling, clog-free porcelain tub and more food than I’ve had since . . . umm . . . well . . . never. He even left a bottle of wine. Surely this was a mistake. Didn’t he mean to take it? I can’t believe I was so selfish. Next time, he can have my Valuables. I’ll just buy new ones.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,32,37],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kambricrews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kambricrews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kambricrews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kambricrews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kambricrews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=552"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/kambricrews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5805,"href":"https:\/\/kambricrews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552\/revisions\/5805"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kambricrews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=552"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kambricrews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=552"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kambricrews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=552"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}