Dikes on Bikes or Lesbian Killers on Wheels

Conversation exchanged over multiple emails with Anonymous Friend (“AF”)

AF re: my June 30 entry below: Did you run over another homosexual? (Sorry, i had to ask, but it seemed a little inappropriate to post on the blog.)

Me: Another one? I MUST have told you about the time I ran over my lesbian friend while I was trying to ride a bike!!!! Did I? Or do you refer to another unlucky homosexual?

AF: No, I had no idea you once ran over a lesbian. Did you really? That was just a lucky guess. Weird. Maybe you just give off that vibe.

Me: That’s hilarious! Buy some lottery tickets, fool, because today’s your lucky day…YES, I DID run over a lesbian before.

AF: Hey, you have a lot of gay friends and you’re kind of clumsy. I’m actually a little surprised it hasn’t happened more than once.

I haven’t been on a bicycle since. If I had, you can bet I’d be running lesbians over left and right. Okay, that’s not true. I’d be running over anyone and anything…I can’t ride a bicycle to save my life. Okay, maybe to save my life, but I might get killed in the process.