So, I didn’t stick around for the VMAs. (I did, however, take some photos of the carousel and stuff.) After dodging and darting through an ocean of teeny bopper boys and girls all set to go to college this year on Daddy’s dime, I realized I have no clue who most of the nominees are and don’t care. Frankly, I’m a numb-skull when it comes to music. I’m the same chick whom Sheila corrected at her luau. “I’m a believer!” turned out to be the Go Go’s “Our Lips are Sealed.” SAY WHAT?!?! Sheila was surprised at me, “It’s the Go Go’s! It’s the name of the song!”
Yeah, and they’re singing “I’m a Believer!” What don’t you get?! She’s making this sh*t up!
My ex-boyfriend from four years ago, Mark, who now lives in Orange County, California as though he’s retired (playing golf, biking, hiking…where’s the work, there Mr. Mark?!) insists that I’ve ruined his favorite Who? song forever because now when he hears, “Eminence Front” all he hears is “Lemonade Strut”. As he put it, “I should have pushed you out of the car.”
Finally, my friends in Columbus were mortified when, during an Ohio State pre-football game tailgate, I declared to anyone within earshot that the live band sucked because they didn’t know the lyrics to, “She’s a Freak, OW!” The band had the audacity to sing, “She’s a Brick House.” Whatever.