Demi Has a Limo Driver

I tried that whole May/September romance thing once. Not on purpose. It wasn’t like I set out to date a younger guy than me or that the guy had nothing to offer other than taut skin and a fake ID. He was a really smart guy attending the University of Notre Dame and I agreed to go out with him before I knew his age. The thing is, we never made it past first base. Why? One night I offered to cook dinner at my place. Of course that meant he had to drive (this was Ohio, folks, they have Amish people that still live there on purpose). So, he asked his parents if he could borrow their station wagon.

They said no.

End of story.