Gospel of Jack 9:25

Jack: My pharmasict won’t give me anymore Viagra till next week. Not that I need it or anything; it’s more like a toy. I feel like I’m twelve years old again getting blow jobs at the Lincoln Tunnel. I can’t get a blow job from my wife to save my life. So I cut the pill in half and give her the bigger piece, of course. Then I get a blow job and I’m like, “Blech!” So I put a bid in on Harvey’s horse. Turns out Harvey’s luckier than I thought, this horse is gonna fetch him millions!

All the UN diplomats dining nearby were giving us sideways glances the entire time they were eavesdropping. I’m not sure if they were disgusted or taking notes.