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Kvetching

Shoes that make flip flop sounds should be banned from the office. Flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop flip flop. All day long. It’s water torture 21st Century style. I’m going to start confessing things that aren’t even true. “YES! It was me who finished the coffee and didn’t start a new batch! It was me! Now make it stop…pleeeeeeezzzzzze!”

Can I just say for the record: I HATE SPEAKER PHONES! Am I yelling? Why, of course, because that’s what you do with speaker phones, you yell…everybody yells!Discretion must be a thing of the past; like the days of mutton sleeves and ascots. Seriously. Actual telephone conversations on speaker or otherwise that I shouldn’t have heard, but did:

* I’m spotting and in the early stages of menopause…yes, I did and that medicine gave me diarrhea which is worse than the other medicine which made me constipated.
* You say it’s not unusual for you to touch and hug your employees? Right. And you have touched and hugged *so-and-so* on numerous occasions without complaint? On these occasions was it usually with or without porn visible on your computer screen?
* You effing *&%#@ you can’t do this to me! I am divorcing you, so you are no longer allowed to use my country club account! Sadly, I do not lie.

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