Reality Television

Queer Eye For the Straight Guy
I have found reality television perfection. Home improvement, makeovers, food & culture tips all mixed with straight men, intent on self-improvement, forced to endure homo-erotic flirtation and humor. I’ve died and gone to heaven. More jock-strap sniffing, please.

Who Wants to Marry My Dad?
Where is this shit world headed? Seriously. Let’s trivialize marriage and relationships why don’t we? You want a reality show, then let’s start “Who Wants to Marry MY Dad” because nobody even wants to be his penpal even though I wished it for his Father’s Day gift. You selfless bastards. Oh, so, he tried to kill someone, is that any reason not to like him? Jeez, tough crowd.

Last Comic Standing
Dave Mordal is consistently funnier and more real than most people. Who are the crack fiends that think R@lphie May is funny? I want to smack them with their hot spoons till their tender veins burst open.

What is with Ralphie’s ebonics hip hop rapping?

The man is white.

He is from Texas.

That is not an accent.

Me
My dinner consisted of a bag of “Hint of Lime” Tostitos, two vodka gimlets and a Brooklyn Lager and then I ranted about reality television. My show is destined for cancellation. I give it till December; set your watches.