Those Fools on Trading Spaces Wish They Were as Cool as Me!

Click here for before and after photos and see what $1100 a month will getcha in Astoria, Queens. This is also where I will now park my ass and eat off of my one green Asian plate in front of mindless reality television or make sweet love to Paquita. Whatever. (I can’t even believe you thought that! I love her, but she’s my dog, man. Seriously, you need help.)