May 28, 2003

What is it with old flames or crushes who sporadically float in and out of your life or hover about merely to interject overt sexual flirtation and innuendo? Why do they do this? Is it to assure themselves that, yes, someone at some point found them sexually attractive without the lingering threat of developing a deeper relationship?

You know what I say to them? “Get the fuck out already with your Hang-Around-Self.” Because you know what they’re doing? They’re sabotaging any chance at real closeness with whomever is unlucky enough to have them as a mate and undermining your value by pigeonholing you as nothing more a temporary ego fix that’s not worth the investment of real energy or time. You exist when they’re feeling low* and it’s convenient for them. And, if you’re in a relationship with someone else, well they just ignore that little fact. They don’t respect you, so why would they respect your relationship?

Exception: If you actually do something noteworthy or are riding the wave of success, well guess who will suddenly be your good, close friend?

*Sometimes, if they know (in their eyes, at least) they are superior to you (be it in the category of beauty, brains or the combination of both), they are merely dangling a tasty carrot in front of you knowing that they are (to you, at least) an irresistible treat. Again, boosting their ego. They will continue to tease you without the intention of ever giving you a taste, unless of course the aforementioned Exception is in effect.

Well, guess what Hang-Around-Self? You’re pathetic. So, yeah. Leave. Now.