>Animal Kingdom

>Some of you know that Larry Bird, my parakeet who barks like a dog (Paquita, specifically) and does a fierce catcall, is institutionlized. Much like “Brooks” in The Shawshank Redemption, Larry just can’t cope with life on the outside. Then he met Dinah, a pure white little girl with no fear who paces frantically in front of the cage door squawking at me until I let her out to fly in circles and peck on Maybelline’s salt lick. Six months later and Voila! Who sat on my finger today chawing on millett? Mr. Bird. Sans Dinah. On his very own! Just me and him. I never thought it would have happened. I’ve been trying for over SIX years! And, after his treat, I calmly let him back inside where he didn’t scream and fuss in protest at the dirty human hands that had just soiled his feathers.

Speaking of Dinah, she is fairly new to the family which means Paquita hasn’t smelled her butt enough. This means Dinah, upon landing where ever, gets a thorough ass sniffing from the Dog. This perplexes me in so many ways. How does the dog always know where every creature’s butt is? And just what is to be learned from shoving her nose halfway up it? Dinah, dainty little creature that she is, cannot STAND it and promptly ruffles feathers and cleans and cleans until her butt feathers are unsoiled from filthy wet dog nose.

—Kambri
Off to clean my butt feathers.