>Oh My Achin’ Head!

>It’s windier than a bag full of buttholes tonight! Every car alarm on the block is going off every five seconds reminding me of Christian’s joke that starts out, “This is not a rhetorical question. Seriously ask yourself when is the last time you were lying in bed, heard a car alarm go off and thought to yourself, ‘Oh my god, a car is being stolen’?” And then ends with Christian threatening to stab the car owner in the di*khole.

I’m hungover from my Tex in the City birthday bash last night, dammit. I need some peace and quiet. But I worked all day from my couch creating press releases and updating calendars and the latest Ballyhoo.

—Kambri
Thank God for sound machines.