The Surreal Life’s Nut Punch

I can’t explain fully how surreal my afternoon was other than I met the biggest mover & shaker in Astoria. The same guy who created the AMMI that I love so much, proposed the Socrates Sculpture Park, founded the Astoria Historical Society, grants movie productions their permits and licenses, handles zoning and what not. You name it. Even such mundane tasks as buying me two pinot grigios at 5:00 this afternoon while I waited for Bobby the Framer to return from taking his mom to the doctor so I could pick up my newly framed poster I bought in Dublin while Colin Farrell and pretty much every other actor and crew member from Pride & Glory all basked in the sun, gawked at Paquita and smiled an said hello to my new found friend and me.

It was N-U-T-S but typing the story out just can’t explain all the ridiculous quotes and realizations and insane holy smokes talk about putting yourself in the position for a lucky mother fu*king bounce situations I experienced all while sitting at a cafe wearing Chuck Taylors two blocks from my apartment in god damned Astoria Fu*king Queens.

When George, that’s the guy who knows every person in Astoria and pretty much created the place, gets back from Greece (he’s going there to settle his uncle’s estate because his aunt has alzheimers) he’s going to give me a tour of Kaufman Astoria Studios and introduce me to some people there. You know — people who make major motion pictures for a living and who could, would, should hire me at any given date. He didn’t even want anything in return.

After about 50 minutes of sussing him out and determining that the dude is who he in fact claims to be (the whole Megan Mullaly’s husband incident is still fresh in my mind) and truly doesn’t want anything from me, Bobby the Framer showed up (his elderly mom was still in the car). I said my thank yous, good byes and raced home to get ready for my interview with Evie about Andres and alternative comedy.

So I floated home with my beautiful framed poster and thought, “Thank God Bobby the Framer wasn’t there when I showed up. I’ve just met a man who could change my life!”

And then my toilet broke.

Nothing like life’s little nut punch to bring you back down to earth.

—Kambri
I jerry rigged the thing, made it to my interview but had to bail on GTN so I could come home and handle plumbing matters. All is fine and, at the very least, I’ll get a private tour of my neighborhood movie studio.