>Till Death Do Us Part or I Tug One Out Thinking of Someone Else, Which Ever Comes Sooner.

>Seneca and Chris were married today on Today. It was so very sweet. Chris was visibly choked up when he vowed to wait at least three days into the Fiji honeymoon before checking out other women in bikinis.

He even vowed to his “true love” to wait a full week until after the honeymoon before dowloading porn and a whole month before beating off to a fantasy of either (a) Seneca’s friend, (b) Daisy Duke, (c) his celebrity fantasy of the week (this week’s feature: Jules Asner), or (d) the emotionally stilted and abnormally needy-for-a- strong any-adult-male’s-attention teen age girl that he offers to escort home after a long night of babysitting duties for Seneca’s two boys because he’s such a gentleman.

The real tearjerk moment, however, came when he swore to wait an entire year before introducing fantasies of a threesome and a full three years before suggesting attending a key party. Gosh, he’s a keeper, Seneca, just look at the sacrifices he’s willing to make for the love of a good woman! But you’d better watch your back, I just might steal him from you!

My advice to brides: Just say, “No”. If you don’t, then take that token of his love and slip it around his c*ck so he can keep it up while he fu*ks you with his eyes closed. Hey, don’t blame me . . . you married him.