I’m on a junk food kick as of late since I can’t seem to stop losing weight. Yes, I realize this makes some of you hate me. No, I don’t care. So, I’m in a long line at a very busy Ranch 1 waiting patiently. Finally, I have only one customer between me and the … More Apr 24, 2003
So for lunch, I stepped outside to have a private conversation on my cell phone, because where else can I have a private chat in New York City but right out on the sidewalk where no one cares what I have to say as long as I stay out of the way? So I was … More Apr 23, 2003
Alan Greenspan is having prostate surgery today. Why is this news? Why not just say a “surgical procedure”? The only prostate I find myself daydreaming about (because that’s all I think of all day—a man’s prostate), isn’t on Wall Street. Frankly, I resent the media implanting the mental image of his engorged gland into my … More Apr 22, 2003
I scored a free ticket to the Matisse/Picasso exhibit at MoMA. There is something completely overwhelming about coming face to face with a piece of art that is reproduced ad nauseum. Because to see it, to come within an inch of it, makes me want to eat it. Cut it up and swallow it and … More Girl Before Art
Ticket to see Funky Meters – $35.00 Beers and wings – $22.50 Entrance to Tobacco Road – $12.00 Realizing I’m not the young whipper snapper I used to be – Torture
So it’s Good Friday. Not sure what that means to you religious folks, but what it means to me is a seat on the train, no one in the office, no phones ringing, non-stop web surfing without those pesky interruptions for “work” and leaving work early sans guilt to go shopping on 5th Avenue without … More Apr 18, 2003
Dinner on my rooftop with the skyline of Manhattan and full moon as a backdrop really can’t be bad if it tried.
Spring time is a time for renewal. It’s a reminder that the cycle of life never stops. Fresh blossoms and green life sprout all around me. The birds and the bees comingle to spread new life. And, believe it or not, I’m buying into it. I’m smitten. And, dare I say it? I think I’m … More Apr 16, 2003
Assuming the IRS doesn’t reject my tax return, I owe the founder of Turbo Tax a blow job* or some other equally rare and wonderfully pleasurable treat. In other news, I finally tackled the colossal dirty laundry blob that was overtaking my life. It was so big, Paquita climbed on top and looked me in … More Apr 15, 2003
The phones in our office are equipped with an interoffice buzzer system. This means one touch dialing will produce an ear piercing BEEEEEEE BOOOOOOO that demands immediate attention before it will BEEEEEEE BOOOOOOO at you again. Several of these demanding signals in a row are enough to drive a girl (me) mad. I am petitioning … More Apr 10, 2003
Kambri Crews 