One of Five Most Embarrassing Moments

When: Spring 1988 – Age 16
Where: UIL State One Act Play Competition; University of Texas; Austin, Texas. Cutthroat and serious competition. We youngsters were on our best behavior.
Witnesses: Hundreds
What: Heard a smattering of gasps and giggles mixed in with familiar guttural noises and high-pitched nonsensical sounds reverberating through the sound system. Look up to the stage to observe a deaf-mute man doing his best gyrating Elvis impersonation into the microphone. A few people rush the stage and the emcee wrests the microphone from the offender’s hands. The deaf Elvis doesn’t leave but rather continues to perform more enthusiastically to the crowd.

The emcee announced, “If he belongs to you, would you get this monkey off the stage?”

The monkey? My dad.

Happy birthday, Dad.